仅供翻译交流使用, 禁止用于商业用途 原字幕｜alan1231005 重新调整｜RYANLAUN
E, E, E, E, E. E, E, E, E, E.
我想试试看换成G和弦 Then I would go to, like, a G.
看会不会让这调调更来劲 And these are all just power chords.
哈罗！您现在收看的是 Hey, how you doin'? You're tuned in
潮男电视台 to Style Boyz Television.
- 我正在哈草 - 潮男频道！ - I'm just sparking up. - Style Boyz Radio!
- 哈这根薯条 - 啊～～～ - Sparking up this French fry. - Ah! Well, KFFFR.
我是薯条佬 I am French fry guy.
- 你好啊 - 不!是薯条佬 - Hello. - No! French fry guy!
- 我是薯条佬 - 别再来了 - I am French fry guy. - Not again!
- 没错，是时候了 - 潮男登场 - Yeah! About to be! - Style Boyz.
- 我们就爱这味 - 当精灵实现你心愿 - Me likey that - When a genie grants wishes
让女孩为你如痴如醉 老妈在家打扫不再抱怨 About girls blowing kisses and your mama doin' dishes
我们就爱这味 Me likey that.
从哪说好呢 Okay, where to start.
从我出生的时候 我就知道我超屌 Ever since I was born, I was dope.
宝贝 Honey!
喔我的天啊! Oh, my gosh, sweetie!
我深爱着音乐 I loved music.
自从我开始投入 And as soon as I could,
我跟我的两个好朋友组了乐团 I started a band with my two best friends,
欧文跟劳伦斯 Owen and Lawrence.
"潮男" The Style Boyz.
人们马上就注意到我们了 Right away, people noticed us
我们写的词超棒的 because our lyrics were beautiful
非常生动，意境鲜明 and insightful, poetic even.
你他妈就是个臭老婊 You're a motherfuckin', titty-suckin', two-ball bitch
男不男，女不女，我都懒的鸟 With a popcorn pussy and a full-on dick
潮男登场我们啥都不屌 Style Boyz in the house and we give a fuck
闭上你的嘴，你就能了 So whip out your nuts and shut the fuck up!
关于潮男我必须得说 The thing about the Style Boyz
你可以感受到他们之间的化学作用很棒 is that their chemistry and their friendship
那是一种很真切的感觉 was really authentic.
你知道那种感觉 You know, you could tell
他们真的是很要好的朋友 that they were really friends with each other.
他们超性感的 They were hot.
就跟你知道的一样 Before you knew it,
我们很快就签约了 we signed with a major label
推出了我们第一张单曲 and put out our first single,
"空手道小子" "Karate Guy."
一，二，三，四 One, two, three, four
我最爱飞踢 I like to kick it
我就是空手道小子 I'm a karate guy
踢呀，踢呀 Kia, kia
踢呀 Kia...
"空手道小子" "Karate Guy."
你在开玩笑吗? You kidding me, man?
这首歌改变我的人生了 That song changed my life.
我戴上我的牛仔帽啦 Now I'm in a cowboy hat
咿哈，咿哈 Yeehaw, yeehaw
我也戴上我的牛仔帽啦 Now I'm in a cowboy hat
咿哈，咿哈 Yeehaw, yeehaw
换你看看我的帽子戏法 Now I'm in three cowboy hats
咿哈 Yeehaw.
康特小子 他负责音乐，掌控节奏 Kid Contact, he handled the beats and the music.
布莱恩小子，歌词都是他写的 Kid Brain, you know, he did all the lyrics.
至于康纳，他很明显就是灵魂人物 And then Conner, he was the charismatic one,
凝聚这个团体的 the one who brought it all together.
你很难忽略他 You-you tell me you didn't see him and say,
他将成为巨星 "Yo, he's the star."
后来事情开始有趣起来了 Things definitely started to get complicated.
我想我就是具备会红的那种特质 I couldn't help it if the world chose me.
- 试一次 - 你要我看这边吗? - Take one. - You want me to look here?
很有趣吧? Pretty funny, right?
追求原创 Be original,
无所畏惧 be fearless.
我爱我的WBJ牛仔裤 I love my White Butt Jeans.
当我开始发光发热的时候 有些人一直支持着我 As my star kept burning brighter, some stood by me.
但有些人开始吃味了 Others couldn't take the heat.
操你的叛徒
我知道你在搞什么把戏
这团不是靠你起来的
你没我也不行啦
他在咬我!
你毁掉我们一起努力的一切
我们隔天就解散了 We broke up the next day.
我单飞了 欧文担任我的DJ I went solo, and Owen became my DJ.
劳伦斯离团了 Lawrence quit the music biz altogether.
原本的DJ法兰西斯跑去日本猎海豚 And our DJ Francis moved to Japan to hunt dolphins,
跟王八蛋一样 like a dickhead.
但后来事情完全不同了 But it turned out all of that
可以说是因祸得福吧 was just a blessing in disguise,
我以"全真康纳"重新出发 because it turned me into Conner4Real.
我发行我的个人专辑 怎么说好呢 I dropped my first album, and what can I say?
马上就席卷了市场 It was a smash.
我把他归功给我的粉丝们 And I owed it all to my fans,
我很喜欢跟他们分享我的生活点滴 who I share everything with.
呦~我在刷牙~ Yo, brushing my teeth.
呦~我刚吃了一份墨西哥卷饼~ Yo, I just ate a taco.
欢迎收看康纳日记 今天我们玩悬浮滑板 It's Conner's Confessions: Hoverboard Edition.
喔!糟了 Oh, fuck!
呦~刚试了一下蜜蜡除毛~ Yo, just got my butt waxed.
这超痛的! That shit hurt!
对他的粉丝来说他很坦率 He's painfully honest with his fans,
可以说是很直白了啦 probably too honest, really.
但粉丝们还是超爱的 Like, but they love him for it.
呦~ Yo.
刚尻了一枪 Just jacked it.
现在爽爽的 Um, feeling pretty mellow right now.
ㄉㄨㄞ ㄉㄨㄞ - ㄉㄨㄞ ㄉㄨㄞ! Doinkdedoink. - Doinkdedoink!
ㄉㄨㄞ ㄉㄨㄞ! Doinkdedoink!
ㄉㄨㄞ ㄉㄨㄞ! - ㄉㄨㄞ ㄉㄨㄞ! Doinkdedoink! - Doinkdedoink!
我觉得他超棒的 I think he's incredible.
有真材实料 He really is the real deal.
我跟我的粉丝 My fans and me,
就好像在谈恋爱 we're in love.
我唱的歌就好比我们的情书一样浪漫 My songs are love letters.
表演的场馆就像我们的闺房 And the arena is our bedroom.
至于舞台 The stage...
就是我们恩爱的地方 The stage is where we fuck.
Yep-yep-yep-yep, work-work-work-work Yep-yep-yep-yep, work-work-work-work
Mm-mm-mm-mm, oh-oh-oh-oh Mm-mm-mm-mm, oh-oh-oh-oh
Yep-yep-yep-yep, work-work-work-work Yep-yep-yep-yep, work-work-work-work
当心, 当心 Watch out, watch out
康纳来罗! It's Conner!
我说我就是 Bar none, I am
最谦虚地 The most humblest
说到谦虚 我排第一 Number one at the top of the humble list
我做的苹果酥饼 酥脆无人比 My apple crumble is by far the most crumblest
但要谦虚 我要假装味道很恶心 But I act like it tastes bad out of humbleness
我就是那么贴心 The thing about me that's so impressive
关于我的成功 我绝口不提 Is how infrequently I mention all of my successes
我鄙视我的成就 女孩却说我是种典型 I pooh-pooh it when girls say that I should model
我把我的骄傲 全部吞到肚子里 My belly's full from all the pride I swallow
我什么都有 但我还想要更多 I've got it all, and I'm getting more
- 亚当的全像投影! - 我从不堕落 - Adam Levine's hologram! - But I never fall
他们只能高举双手 Beat 'em all
我的谦虚让他们难受 'Cause you know I'm so humble
这超贵的喔! So expensive!
- 我的谦恭 - 我好... - I'm so humble - I'm so...
- 我好谦恭 - 我好谦恭 - I'm so humble - I'm so humble.
我不是传统的 I'm not your normal definition
摇滚巨星 Of a rock star
我的私人飞机款式早已退流行 I don't complain when my private jet is subpar
你妈有点年纪 还是得叫姊姊才可以 Your mom's old, but I'll ask if she's your sister
人们都说我的魅力让他难受 People say I'm charming
但我希望能有点不同 But-but I beg to differ
我希望我的谦逊比得上摇手指的木桶伯 I feel more humble than Dikembe Mutombo After a stumble
送他火锅 让他们狗血淋头 Left him covered in a big pot of gumbo
像我这样有点成就 I guess, in a way, being great
让我有点无地自容 Just is my weakness
人们都感受到我的谦恭 People say I'm so unpretentious
像我一样的神童 For a genius
我什么都有 但我还想要更多 I've got it all, and I'm getting more
我从不堕落, 他们只能高举双手 But I never fall, beat 'em all
如你所说 我最谦恭 'Cause you know I'm so humble
我的字典里没有自我! I say that with no ego!
我最谦恭 I'm so humble...
我最谦恭 I'm so humble
Yep-yep-yep-yep, work-work-work-work Yep-yep-yep-yep, work-work-work-work
Mm-mm-mm-mm, oh-oh-oh-oh Mm-mm-mm-mm, oh-oh-oh-oh
Yep-yep-yep-yep, work-work-work-work Yep-yep-yep-yep, work-work-work-work
当心, 当心 Watch out, watch out.
"我最谦恭"这首歌让我 马上有了共鸣 "I'm So Humble," I instantly connected with that,
我觉得我是我认识的人里面最谦虚的了 because I'm probably the most humble person that I know.
2015年夏天，康纳决定推出 他的第二张个人专辑"真途"
这是十年来最受瞩目的音乐作品
真得很让人期待呢 Yeah, well, it's a pretty exciting time right now.
关于康纳的第二张个人专辑"真途" Conner's second album, his second solo album, CONNquest,
两个礼拜内就要推出 is dropping in two weeks.
到时候我们会开始全球巡回演出 And then we go on the world tour.
- 哈利, 快点来啦 - 我从"潮男"时期就开始 - Harry, get in here, man. - I've been Conner's manager
担任康纳的经纪人了 since back with the Style Boyz.
以前就我们四个人开着一台小货车 It used to be the four of us riding around in a van,
但随着我们的大放异彩 but, uh, with success,
我们的团队也开始扩张 our family had to get a little bit bigger.
当然啦 康纳需要一些伙伴支持他 Sure, Conner surrounds himself with people who are agreeable.
不能说他们百依百顺啦 I wouldn't call them yes men.
中大奖啦! Money!
- 进了吗? - 刷的一声耶 - Did it go in? - Swish!
进啦进啦! Oh, it went in, it went in!
你有杀手本能!老兄! You a murderer, son!
从薪资本上面可以看出 Well, Conner currently has 32 people
他的幕后团队现在有32人 on his personal payroll.
他有个人助理,派对协调专员 He has a personal assistant, a party coordinator,
腹部的健身教练,篮球教练 an ab trainer, basketball coach,
画眉师,球鞋造型师 an eyebrow specialist, sneaker jockey,
两个帮忙撑伞的,卷烟的 two umbrella wranglers, a weed roller,
背黑锅的 a weed holder,
乌龟保母,管围巾的 a turtle sitter for Maximus, scarf caddy,
还有一个专门攻击他下体 a guy who punches him in the nuts
- 让他知道不能忘本 - 你是对的 - so that he remembers where he came from... - You're right.
还有一位上相专员 A perspective manipulator...
什么是上相专员? Oh, that's a guy who's, uh, slightly shorter than Conner
喔，就是比康纳再矮一点
当他出席的时候 who he pays to stand near him at events
会在康纳旁边让他看起来比较高 to make him look taller.
在我高中的时候 You know, back in my high school days,
我也是玩团的 I was in a band.
搞不好你有听过 我们叫做"汤尼!汤泥!汤倪!汤霓?" You may heard of them... called Tony! Toni! Toné! TonEe?
我们因为有点意见上的分歧就没继续了 We broke up over creative differences.
其他的团员后面都有惊叹号 Each Tony had an exclamation point after their name,
但我希望我的后面是问号 and I thought my name should have a question mark.
所以团名应该是 "汤尼!汤泥!汤倪!汤霓?" So it would be Tony! Toni! Toné! TonEe?
凭良心讲 这个想法不怎样啦 In hindsight, it was not my best decision.
但我的离开让我的人生迎来了康纳 But that led me to Conner.
现在是谁笑到最后啊? So who's laughing now?
来啊 There you go, buddy.
嘿老兄! Ow, dude.
麦斯,你咬我! You bit me, Max.
这是我的好朋友麦西穆斯 This is my best friend Maximus.
是我九岁的时候我妈给我的 My mom gave him to me when I was nine years old.
大概是我父亲刚过世的时候吧 Like, right after my dad died.
我觉得我跟他最亲了 I feel like he's, like, the closest thing
就好像一个亲生兄弟一样 I've ever had to, like, a little brother or something.
就好像有一个沉默寡言的兄弟一样 If I had, like, a mute brother that was hella scaly.
他还很小的时候医生说 As a hatchling, the doctors said
他有风湿性关节炎的问题 that he had been diagnosed with soggy bones syndrome,
他可能活不过六个月 and that he was not gonna make it past, like, six months.
但那已经是20年前的事了 But that was 20 years ago.
你是我最好的朋友 You're my best friend.
别跟欧文说喔! Don't tell Owen.
上来啊 欢迎来到欧文的小天地 Come on up here. This is Owen's world right here.
这里放置的是我的器材 This is where I keep all my gear.
这是我最早的合成器 This is one of the earliest, uh, synths I ever got.
是一台 DX7 经典款式呢 It's a DX7. This is a classic.
你在表演中用这些器材吗?
你说康纳的演唱会吗? 不不不 Oh, in Conner's show? No, no.
演唱会的时候我用这台就够了 In Conner's show, I just use this.
我都用iPod Uh, it's a iPod.
有60GB,所以要放整个表演的曲目绰绰有余 60 gigs, so, you know, I can fit the entire show,
因为容量很多,我也放了一些有声书 and, uh, plus, like, a bunch of dope audio books.
你听过这个吗? You know?
这是在霍格华兹的第三年了 It was year three at Hogwarts,
哈利开始担心这个学期 and Harry was worried it would never get any easier.
哈利波特 Harry P.
依你的才华，委身做DJ会很难受吗?
很多人都这样说啊 You know, a lot of people ask me that.
他们总是说:"这样不对吧 They say, like, "Is it weird"
你现在只能做幕后吗? "for you to be playing the background now?
你知道,你以前是"潮男"的一员啊" 'Cause, you know, you used to be in Style Boyz."
我只能说 "不能这样说啦 And I always say, "No, man, not at all, man,
毕竟我永远无法取代康纳啊" 'cause I-I could never do what Conner does, you know?"
我是一个完美主义者 Look, I'm a perfectionist.
我首张专辑有了400万的销售量 My first album sold four million copies.
我必须得要再突破 So this one has to sell more.
这就是为什么我那么认真看待 And that's why I take this so seriously, you know?
音乐就是我的生命 And I-I live for this music.
而且 And...
我不能失去这一切啊 It can't go away.
所以我亲自写了专辑内的每一首歌 That's why I personally wrote every song on this record,
虽然只有17首歌，但有100位制作人 and I used over 100 producers for just 17 tracks
为我背书 to guarantee that they're all hits.
首张专辑我写了不少曲子 I made a lot of the beats on the first record,
但这一次康纳想要开创新局 but on this one, Conner said he really wanted to branch out.
很高兴看到他的蜕变 It's good for him to grow, you know?
当然我也有给他看过我的创作 And, also, I played him a bunch of my beats,
他马上就拒绝了 and he was like, "No."
在专辑正式发行前一周 康纳先发表他的首支MV
嘿 What's up, y'all?
有一个新的单曲要完成了 Got a hot new single coming.
这首歌提到一些社会问题 And it addresses some social issues
常被大家忽略 that I think are being ignored.
希望你用心去体会 So keep your eyes peeled for that.
我们大概会在 We're gonna be surprise releasing it
下周四中午发表 next Thursday at noon.
大概就这样罗 Uh, and that's it.
歧视 Discrimination.
那是不对的 It ain't right.
我不是同性恋,如果我是 I'm not gay, but if I was
我希望平权 I would want equal rights
我不是同性恋,如果我是 I'm not gay, but if I were
我结婚的对象肯定与我相恋 I would marry who I like
这不公平 It's not fair, I'm not gay
政府发表的宣言 That the government has a say
谁都可以爱谁,但不含同性恋 In who can love who, not gay
看你想在哪个神明前许愿, 我不是同性恋 Or to which god you can pray, I'm not gay
不是我爱抱怨 It gets me so angry
我想代表同性恋发言, 我可以体会他们之间的誓言 On behalf of them, I feel passionate
因为我不是, 我只能保佑同性恋 Not gay, so I pray for them
为他们挺身向前,我们现在就要改变 And I say for them, we need to make a change
我不是同性恋, 我早已看穿他们的谎言 Not gay, I see it clear as day
这可不是灰色边缘, 胸部 This area is not gray, titties
我们想要看到同性平权 We need equality and for all to see
看到全新的改变, 我不是同性恋 That this is the new way, not gay
如你所见, 我不是同性恋, 说他们不健全, 我不是同性恋 Just seems, not gay, wrong, not gay
说起来这种事没人想管, 运动 That no one seems to care, sports
我们不能再装做没看见 We can't continue to pretend
- 关于同性恋的歧见现在就要改变, 我不是同性恋 - 耶 - This, not gay, madness has to end, not gay - Yeah
- 我生来如此 - 异性恋 - I was born this way - Straight
- 你生来如此 - 同性恋 - You were born your way - Gay
同性恋或异性恋, 异性恋或同性恋 Gay or straight, straight or gay
- 这是世人所愿 - 当然 - It's all okay - Sure
- 是时候改变 - 耶 - It's time to make a change - Yes
- 是时候停止抱怨 - Uh - Time to stop the hate - Uh
- 你的美不需要改变 - 我不是同性恋 - 'Cause who you are is beautiful - Not gay
我不是同性恋, 在床第间流连 Not gay, lyin' in bed
或在十个漂亮女孩身边, 都是异性恋 Next to ten beautiful girls, all straight
在我跟他们亲热的期间 And while I made love to every one of them
我也想让世界开始改变, 炸鸡翅 I was thinking about the world, hot wings
真爱胜过一切, 终极战士 True love trumps all, Predator
飞踢, 我不是同性恋, 腕表, 我不是同性恋 Flying kicks, not gay, big watch, not gay
传教士体位, 真爱唯一 运动袜, 双截棍 Missionary, "One Love," gym socks, nunchucking
我不是同性恋, 打火机油, 高画质, 忍者, 世界和平 Not gay, lighter fluid, HD, ninja, world peace
四轮传动, 同性婚姻, 海狸 Four-wheel drive, gay marriage, love beav
自由恋爱, 高尔夫球杆, 两个男人, 我不是同性恋 Free love, golf club, two guys, not gay
彩虹, 钻进腿间, 哈维米尔克, 西恩潘 Rainbow, muff dive, Harvey Milk, Sean Penn
我不是同性恋, 爵士鼓独奏, 场边座位, 安全措施 Not gay, drum solo, courtside seats, safe sex
单手伏地挺身, 林纳史金纳 One-arm pushups, Lynyrd Skynyrd
我不是同性恋, 我不是同性恋 I'm not gay, I'm not gay
我不是, 不是, 不是, 不是同性恋, 我不是同性恋 I'm not, not, n-not, n-not gay, I'm not gay
- 我生来如此 - 我是异性恋 - I was born this way - I'm straight
- 你生来如此 - 你是同性恋 - You were born your way - You're gay
同性恋或异性恋, 异性恋或同性恋 Gay or straight, straight or gay
- 没什么不OK - 是时候改变 - It's all okay - And now it's time
- 让性自由变得普遍 - 是时候改变 - For sexual freedom for all - It's time to make a change
- 让性自由变得普遍 - 是时候停止抱怨 - Sexual freedom for all - Time to stop the hate
- 让性自由变得普遍 - 你的美 - Sexual freedom for all... - 'Cause you are
- 让性自由变得普遍 - 不需要改变 - Sexual freedom for all - Is beautiful
我不是同性恋 Not gay.
他写这首歌 He's writing this song
是关于同志婚姻的 for gay marriage.
他讲得好像这不合法一样 You know, like it's not allowed.
可是现在合法啊 It's allowed now.
我通常不喜欢 Usually, I don't like
去看这些评论的文章 to read reviews, but...
但现在我很期待 I'm just excited.
你知道吗 我等不及了 Like, I can't, I can't wait.
我想要知道大众的反应 I want to know how people feel about it,
我想要知道他们有多喜欢 and I want to know how much they love it, so...
我们开始吧 uh, here we go.
嗯... Um...
他们怎么说?
我们先看Pitchfork的评价 Well, it's Pitchfork, it's...
他们给了负评 They gave it a negative review.
- 他们不喜欢吗? - 等一下,他们给我-4分 No, like, it's a negative four
看起来是满分10分 out of ten... positive ten, I assume.
Pitchfork 向来是比较浮夸的媒体 Pitchfork can be kind of pretentious though, so...
但,怎么会呢? But ooh. What?
少在这边碍事,不看了 You ain't gonna knock my hustle.
我们看别人怎么说好了 Let's look at another one.
找看看滚石杂志 Let's pull it up. Rolling Stone.
好 Okay.
他们满分四分 Um, out of four possible stars,
滚石给我的评价是... Rolling Stone has given it...
大便的表情符号 the shit emoji.
我猜他们觉得我搞砸了? I can only assume it's a, um, a mess-up, you know?
这一定搞错了吧 They must've had a-a problem with their, um...
不对,他们是认真的 No, this seems like the right score
关于他们发表的评价 for how they're saying this.
我们再找找看好了 You know what, let's just do a search.
找看看其他"真途"的评论 CONNquest review.
有了 Oh, here we go.
我们来看看 Here we go.
"真途:大获全胜" "CONNquest: a triumph."
看来他们给出了好评 That's a good one.
我看看 Let me read this.
这是发表自... This is on...
洋葱报(讽刺媒体) The Onion.
好吧,看来是毁誉参半 So, you know, mixed.
有的人喜欢,有的人不喜欢 Let's call it mixed reviews.
一开始你是来自团体组合 So first you're in a group.
我们是从"潮男"认识你的 You introduced us to the Style Boyz.
当然还有 "驴风舞" 我们放超多次的 And "Donkey Roll," of course, we play the hell out of that.
那首歌真的很受欢迎 That's a hit for us, man,
后来你又做了突破 and then, Conner, you get that breakout moment.
你接到克劳蒂坎翠儿的合作邀请 You get a phone call from Claudia Cantrell.
她真的很棒 The one and only.
他邀请你参予作词 And she asks you for a verse, man,
在她的新歌"奉献一牲" on her song, "Turn Up the Beef."
奉献一牲 Turn up the beef
让火焰淬炼你 Throw your body on the flame...
你把握了这个机会,但你... But you take that moment, and instead of just, like,
你把歌词整个大改 你应该知道我在说什么 kicking a regular verse... you know what I'm saying...
你的做法真的很特别 you did something a little different.
关于"喊口号"现在大家都会 The "catchphrase verse," as it's now known.
对对 这我同意 Uh-oh, yeah, yeah. Hello.
我观察了一下标语 口号之类的东西 Um, I had been working on a catchphrase,
但我发现 but what had happened was
我的点子实在太多了 I just thought of so many dope ones
那为什么不干脆一次 that I was like, "What if I put them
把他们全部收录呢? all into the verse?"
奉献一牲 Turn up the beef
康纳想来, 发表意见 It's Conner bitch, say word
D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-呆伯特 D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-Dilbert
ㄉㄨㄞ ㄉㄨㄞ, 歹势老爸 Doinkdedoink, sorry, Dad
小坚果, 松鼠酱, 帽子 Dinkynuts, squirrel jam, hats...
歌词里面有很多东西数也数不清 Yeah, he said so many words I didn't know.
我觉得他完全翻转了我们对歌词的认知 That was a game-changing moment.
好歌通常会有一句让人耳熟能详的 There's usually, like, one catchphrase in a hit.
但他放了大概三十句吧,这超疯狂的 He dropped, like, 30 on us in one night. Shit was crazy.
D.J. 汤娜(欢乐满屋角色), 时髦鞋子 D.J. Tanner, swanky pumps
摩托曲风, 好市多试吃品 M-M-Moped music, Costco samples like a mothafucka
呜呜, 音量要适中 Uuuunngh, crank up the mids
派崔克史都华的钱 Patrick Stewart money
你得认识, 全真康纳 You know who it is, Conner4Real.
坦白说这家伙 Immediately, I said, man, this guy right here,
他有机会成为巨星 he's gonna make it big.
当你有一个口号 Because when you have a catchphrase,
你会希望让他帮你传颂 the world is catched by your phrase.
你的突破有了好的结果 You fast-forward. Things start to happen, man.
你因此得到了流行音乐奖 You get the-the Pop Music Award.
现在你单飞了 And now, here comes those offers of a solo contract.
没错 Yeah.
"潮男"团员们怎么看待呢? How did the other Style Boyz feel about that?
- 他们都坦然接受啊 - 嗯嗯 - You know, they took it fine. - Mm-hmm.
欧文是我的DJ 他也是我最要好的朋友 Owen is my DJ and my best friend.
- 这听起来不错 - 至于劳伦斯 - That's good, man. - And Lawrence
- 他现在务农,所以我想... - 等一下 - lives on a farm now, so... - Hold on.
劳伦斯邓恩现在改行做农夫? Lawrence Dunn is a farmer?
我叫劳伦斯邓恩 My name is Lawrence Dunn.
我以前是"潮男"的一员 I used to be in the Style Boyz.
我现在是农夫 Now I'm a farmer.
我现在很向往大自然 Being out here in nature,
远离那些喧嚣 away from all the people
和都会生活的那些繁琐.让我很平静 and the trappings of modern life, it's so peaceful.
没什么比得上 There's nothing like it.
我现在非常快乐 I've never been happier.
嗯 你现在看到的 Uh, so yeah, this is, uh,
都是我的木工作品 all my woodwork.
我非常喜欢 这算是我的一个嗜好 It's kind of my passion, uh, my hobby.
这个作品很棒 This is a nice piece.
我叫他"危机中的政府" It's called "Government in Crisis."
应该很容易看得出来 For obvious reasons.
这是一个面具 This one's a mask.
拿下来的时候我还是我 Still me.
这是帽子 It's a hat.
以前在哪我们都是团体行动 You know, we were going places as a band.
规画事情也以团体为出发点 We had plans as a band.
"潮男"是一个三人团体 Style Boyz, that's three guys,
他不是二重唱 只有两人是行不通的 not two... it doesn't work with two.
就好像三轮车啊 You know? It's like a tricycle.
你把一个轮子拿掉你还剩什么? You take away one of the wheels, what do you got?
就没了,变脚踏车 Nothin'. A bicycle.
不会比较好 Don't use that.
其实,我们也辉煌过啊 Look, we had a good run, you know?
我们有几首还不错的畅销歌 We had a few hits.
但都过去了 But it had run its course, you know?
那些都算是我们以前的经历 It was time for us
是时候继续成长 to all move on.
忘记过去了 Get over it.
当"潮男"解散的时候 When the Style Boyz broke up...
妈的 Damn.
我上次那么难过的时候 The only other time I remember being that sad...
是看到"法庭女王"里面的乔西查尔斯领便当 was when they killed Josh Charles on The Good Wife.
我一生都是 I'm a Style Boy
"潮男" For life...
你们准备好了吗? Y'all ready for this?
- 对啊 - 好 - Yeah. - Okay.
感受一下最新科技吧 你们这些F咖 Welcome to the future, bitches!
康纳的歌耶 That's Conner's song.
呃 Whoa.
哇! Ah!
我不是同性恋 I'm not gay...
- 喔! - 好啊 两边都有 正点 - Oh! - Okay, both sides. Okay.
- 有趣吧? - 对啊! - It's fun, right?! - Yeah!
我超爱这个的 You know, this is my favorite.
我喜欢这个冰箱 I like the freezer one.
听好罗 Listen to this, homies.
要放你的整张专辑都没问题 We can upload your entire album
看你是要冰箱、洗碗机 to fridges, washer-dryers,
全国的果汁机跟微波炉都可以变这样 blenders and microwaves across the country.
可以这样? You could do that?
没错,阿宅 Yes, nerd.
这技术就跟无线上网一样普及了 It's just Wi-Fi jibber-jabber.
没什么了不起 It's not a big deal.
- 老兄,这会是电器革命 - 对,没人做过 - Nobody doing appliance shit, my nigga. - No.
没错吧,根本没人这样做过 Is that right, my nigger? No one is doing appliance shit.
- 没错 - 那这样子讲好了 - Yeah. - Okay. Went with the hard "R."
我们会变最最最红的了 This is that next, next, next, man.
- 早跟你们说戴博拉 - 嗯嗯 - I told y'all, Deborah's a genius! - Mm.
没错,但其实你也可以念迪博拉喔 It's true. And it is also pronounced De-bor-ah.
迪博拉 喔 可以这样念啊 De-bor-ah. Oh, that's very cool.
- 有点异国情调 - 那原本怎么念啊 - It's exotic. - What's the origin of that?
我都念戴博拉 Uh, I believe "Deborah."
- 这超扯的啦! - 没错吧 - That was ridiculous! - Right?
我觉得今天这个真的超屌的 Oh, my God, yes, that was insane.
我是说,谁会想到这样的方式来听音乐啊 I mean, who would want to listen to music that way?
- 来啦! - 可能有点新潮啦 - Schwag! - I know it's kind of weird,
但 Aquaspin 绝对可以帮我们做足宣传 but Aquaspin's gonna help us get the music out there, man.
我是说你不会担心当音乐用这样的方式 I mean, so... you don't think people are gonna have a problem
宣传出去会造成人们的困扰吗? when music just appears in their houses?
我知道我说的可能有点泼你冷水 Look, I know it sounds lame, but...
可是以前没有东西像这样破天荒啊 there's no such thing as selling out anymore, man.
这样才能做大事业啊 This is how big business works.
我的意思是当你有机会把事业做大 I mean, nowadays if you don't sell out,
你却把格局做小,这样就弱掉啦 people will wonder if nobody asked you to.
- 好像是这样 - 老兄,没关系 - Right. - But look, dude,
如果你觉得不稳的话 if you're not comfortable with it,
我们可以再想想 we could rethink it.
没有啦,就这样吧 No, man, that's cool, that's cool.
好啊 All right, cool.
我们上车吧 Let's get in the car.
这外套害我一身汗 This jacket's making me sweat my ass off.
外面他妈超热的 Yeah, it's fuckin' hot as shit out here.
康纳,欢迎上车 Welcome to the car, Conner.
- 冷气! - 你是说"热气"吗? - A.C.! - Did you say "Macy's"?
- 冷气 - 你是说"热气"吗? - A.C. - Did you say "Macy's"?
- 冷气! - "热气""热气"? - Air condition. - Macy's? Macy's?
有时候康纳就是会这样神来一笔 Sometimes Conner just gets an idea
他真的很擅长突发奇想 and he runs with it, you know?
而且他绝大多数时候都是正确的 And he's right, like, 99.9% of the time, so...
你就是要让他放手去做 you just got to trust that he knows what he's doing.
我想我可以体会他的那些想法 So I understand why he, you know,
利用Aquaspin推出的家电用品来做宣传 did the whole Aquaspin thing.
毕竟现在要巡回演出不容易嘛 Touring is expensive today.
不然我干吗跟食品公司合作呢? Why you think I do the asap Crunchables?
这位是盖瑞赛克斯 他是我们的摄影师 This is Gary Sikes. This is the label photographer.
男士们 我们先来拍几张吧 Gentlemen. Gentlemen. All right, there we go.
好 这张不错 先来张合照 Yeah. All right. Got the two of you. Great.
可以麻烦你们站开一点吗? Okay, could I have a little separation, please?
盖瑞,你等一下 你想把我们分开? Oh, wait, hang on, Gary. You're not trying to break up
- 把梦幻组合分开? - 不不不 不是这个意思 - the Dream Team, are you? - No, no, no, no.
我希望照片可以带到商标 我可以稍微挪动你吗? Just trying to get the logo. May I... may I touch you?
- 可以啊 - 稍微过去一点就好 - Yeah. - Just slide down just a little bit.
就到那边就好 我怕会有点挤压到 Scoot you down like that. Little pressure. There we go.
你这样影子会有点盖到他喔 I still see your shadow a little bit on him.
如果你不介意的话 If you don't mind, could you just...
再过去一点,再过去一点 Still in it, you're still in it.
- 帅喔,康纳 - 当然啊 - Conner, nice. - Yeah, same thing.
这张不错喔 Nice! Yeah!
他的文化 Roots and culture
是与生俱来无法模仿 Seeped from his bones...
- 宝拉,这杯给你 - 谢谢 - Here you go, Paula. - Thank you.
你知道流行音乐奖那边怎样了 Hey, how's the, uh, Pop Music Award thing coming?
还可以,我有跟制作人连系了 Good. I've called producers. I'm waiting to hear back.
我希望你密切注意,你也知道 Please stay on them, because you know
他很在意这个 how important it is to him.
我很希望有一天能够真的捧红康纳 I'd love to get Conner to the point
甚至让大家忘记他是音乐人 where people forget that he's a musician,
让他无所不在 where he's just kind of everywhere,
就好像氧气,地心引力 like oxygen or gravity or clinical depression.
或是忧郁症一样的普遍 He's just... everywhere.
- 康纳! - 嗨 - Conner! - Hey.
喔! Oh!
这是他女朋友 Extra.
独家腥闻 Ashley Wednesday, star of the blockbuster.
艾希利温斯戴 主演"立方定理"系列电影
知名电影红星 Cube Theorem franchise,
跟"全真康纳"正在拍拖 was spotted with pop rapper Conner4Real
他们昨晚一同离开纽约知名夜店的时候 leaving the exclusive New York City nightclub [bleep]
被拍到 last night.
好了,我们该走了 Okay, let's go, kids.
- 什么? - 该上车回家了 - Huh? - Time to go home in your fun car.
我跟艾希已经交往 Ash and I have been
大概有六个月了 hanging out for about six months now,
这段期间让我发现她真的很完美 and I got to say, she's the total package.
我小时候花很多时间 Well, when I was little, I would spend hours
看那些杂志中的政商名流 looking at famous couples in magazines...
像是美国周刊、时人啊 那时候大家都会猜 Us Weekly, People... and everybody's speculating,
他们是真的在交往呢? 还是在炒新闻啊 are they a real couple or are they just for publicity?
那时候我就知道 And I knew that when I grew up,
我以后长大也要跟他们一样 I wanted to be one of those couples.
5,4 Five, four,
3,2,1! three, two, one!
昨天晚上"全真康纳" Last night, pop star Conner4Real's
的新专辑"真途"正式发行 new album CONNquest was released...
在所有的Aquaspin家电 on all Aquaspin appliances.
上百万的美国民众都没有意料到这个状况 Millions of unsuspecting Americans
- 很多人直接丢掉他们的面包机 - 你不能这样搞啊 - turned on their toasters... - You can't do that to people!
呦,"全真康纳",你烂透了 Yo, Conner4Real, you suck, dude!
连总统也在演说中称他为 The president calling the pop star
大白痴 "a real dumb [bleep]."
因为没有人会买他的专辑 The only reason he put it in appliances
所以他才会选择 is 'cause no one
把专辑都放在家电用品里面 was gonna buy his shit album.
今天的CMZ电视台 Today on CMZ...
他跟家电品牌合作发行专辑? He released his record with a dishwashing company?
我觉得他们可以说是闯大祸了 They did this big launch, and it was all wireless
我也不知道他们怎么办到的 or something, I don't know,
突然间我家的家具就都中邪了一样 but it came out of every appliance in my house,
现在我"真"讨厌康纳了 and I was just like, "I hate Conner4Real."
"真"的讨厌 For real.
但老实说我们可以为他留点后路吧 But seriously, let's be nice to Conner4Real,
我觉得他人还不坏啊 'cause he seems like a good guy.
呃,我不觉得喔 Uh, I don't think so.
呃,我也不觉得喔 Uh, I don't think so.
拜托喔! Come on!
目前的销售统计 Well, the overnight numbers
当然不符合我们的预期啦 were not what we were expecting.
真的低很多 They were pretty low.
不过才刚发行嘛 But it's still early.
是有些人说Aquaspin的事件 Yeah, some people were saying that the Aquaspin thing
有点侵犯到隐私了 was an invasion of privacy,
我想这算是这次专辑的一个小颠簸啦 so it's just a little bump in the road.
康纳怎么说呢? Um... he's dealing with it.
康纳你还好吗? Conner, you okay, buddy?
会不会是销售统计出错了啊? Maybe the numbers were wrong, you know?
好比说 Like...
电脑中毒还是怎样的 BonkoHub had a computer virus or something.
也许有这个可能 You know, you could be right.
我会叫杰伊去问问 I'll have Jay look into it.
具体数字大概多少,有个15、20万吗? So what are we talking, like, 150, 200 or...?
嗯...现在大概6万5 Mm... 65,000.
你知道我们原本是期待更多的 Well, that is not where we wanted to be, but...
但对第一天来说我觉得还可以 not bad for the day.
其实那是估计的 Actually, Conner, that's for the week.
首周销售量 Estimated.
6万5? Sixty-five?
整个礼拜? For the week?
你可以..你可以... Can you... can you...?
现在先不要拍了 Hey, can you guys give us a second here?
怎么会这样啊?
我..真的说不上来
以前我们一个礼拜是卖一百万张的
我知道这个数字有些对不上
啊...
不要这样啦
哈利 到底怎么回事?
这些蜜蜂很烦耶!
到底哪来的啦?
我猜他们喜欢我的防晒油的味道
干嘛擦防晒啊!现在是阴天耶
紫外线可以穿过云层的 这不是常识吗
干!我的火焰喷射器勒!
来!接好!
好!
漂亮!烧个精光!
我的天啊,是蜂后!
太大只了吧!烧它!
(怪异的叫声)
耶!去死吧!
(蜂后惨叫)
你搞定了
这超靠杯的...
摄影师,别跟我说没录到
你刚叫我们不要拍的啊
靠!
(巡回演唱会) It's the first day of tour, baby!
今天是演唱会第一天喔! Now, I know.
其实我知道
康纳最近不是很顺 但他的演唱会真的很赞 Conner's bummin' right now, but his concert is amazing.
演唱会开始的时候,他在舞台上 When this thing goes off and he's out there,
那种巨星架式,真的很有渲染力 I mean, it's just a spectacle. It's enormous.
喔,对了我是吉普 Yeah, my name is, uh, Zippy.
我主要负责吉他的调校 I'm the guitar tech on the tour.
啊靠! Shit!
靠... Shit.
我要确保所有乐器在最佳状态 I make sure all the instruments are tip-top.
我很喜欢整个过程 I love the road, you know.
对我来说这是我能找到最棒的差事了 This is kind of a perfect job for me,
不过要说到打发时间我最喜欢的还是"假死"一下了 but my favorite free-time thing is flatlining.
心跳次数还在下降 Heart rate dropping.
所谓的假死啊 Flatlining is when you, uh,
就是当你的心跳次数不断的下降 technically lower your heart rate
然后低到你几乎已经没有生命迹象 until, um... well, you're dead.
- 心跳次数还在降低中 - 你可以在死后的世界 - He's still dropping. - Then you can catch a glimpse
看看 of the afterlife.
我是受到电影"别闯阴阳界"的启发 Got the idea from the film Flatliners.
乔伊舒麦雪导的 扬德邦特担任摄影 Joel Schumacher film shot by Jan de Bont.
我现在时不时的就想要假死一下 You know, I try to fit in a F-line sesh
希望一个礼拜来一次 at least once a week.
一，二 开始 Two, one, hit him!
走开! Clear!
哇 Oh, wow.
我有大在裤子上吗? Did I shit my pants?
这次没有 Not this time.
敬康纳! To Conner!
我妈是个很好的人 My mom means well.
她以前也 She had her own dreams of becoming a star
梦想成为巨星 back in the day,
但后来为了照顾我就放弃了 and she gave it up to have me,
我觉得我真的亏欠她 so I really owe her for that.
当然我很感激她一直支持我 And I'm lucky to have her support.
- 我先来 - 好啊,你先来 - I'll go first. - Okay, you go first.
我最疼小孩了 Kids first, and then moms.
我的天啊 这太棒了 Oh, my God, that is so fun!
你好 Hello.
我叫做泰勒斯克许 My name is Tyrus Quash, and I do
我在康纳演唱会期间负责他的饮食 the food service on Conner's tours.
这边是八种不同形式的胡萝卜 So, these are carrots, eight different ways.
有三角形、刀削的、尖塔状、或是维持原样 You have your triangles, shave, obelisks, natural,
或是丝状, 法文要念 julienne, as the French like to call it.
"Julienne" 应该是这样讲没错 Julienne. I think that's how they say it.
康纳对吃是很讲究的 Conner's very specific when it comes to food,
因此我每次看到他喜欢我的料理 and it brings me great joy
那个成就感是无可言喻的 to see him love the treats that I prepare.
耶,康纳! Yeah, Conner!
现在外面很多人看我不顺眼
但我们要让他们闭上嘴巴
我们还没完呢
数到三"真途"
一、二、三"真途"! - Yeah! - Let's go!
- 耶! - 开始吧
我这辈子看过最正的马子 Finest girl I ever met in my whole life
想快点带她回家做我妻子 Wanna take her home, make her my wife
但闲聊间发现她是个疯婆子 Knew she was a freak when she started talkin'
她说:"像猎杀宾拉登那样上我吧" She said, "Fuck me like we fucked bin Laden"
呜喔, 我想我遇到疯婆子 Ooh, whoa, that girl was a freak
她要我使出全力 She said she wanted me to fuck her harder
像军队猎杀宾拉登不留余力 Than the military fucked bin Laden
嘿 Hey
- 猎杀宾拉登 - 嘿 - Fucked bin Laden - Hey
猎杀宾拉登 Fucked bin Laden
她希望我不留余力 She wanted to fuck me
像美国政府消除异己 Harder than the U.S. Government
猎杀宾拉登 Fucked bin Laden
嗯, 我开始觉得这个女生怪怪地 Uh, she was a freaky kind of girl
她很关注全球议题 Kept up on current events from all around the world
确切的来说只在乎一件事情 More specifically, one event
宾拉登被猎杀的时候,她说: The time Osama bin Laden got shot in the head, she said
"我就要那样",但我不知道那是不是隐喻 "Do me like that," but I couldn't track the metaphor
好比我说:"看出你跟剑龙有同等性欲" That said, I can see you horny like a stegosaur
我觉得她的要求 That said, again, your request
让我觉得好诡异, 她却戴上她的假胡须 Is so irregu-laur, she put on a beard
让我想找藉口逃走 I started looking at the exit door
然后又有头巾, 又穿上背心,还说: Then a turban, then a tunic, she said
"让你的特种部队攻打我的小穴," 我说 "Invade my cave with your special unit," I said
"他当时不在洞穴里啊" 但事情已经停不下来了 "He wasn't in a cave," but there was no stoppin'
他要我上她,希望过程感觉像 She demanded that I fuck her like we
猎杀宾拉登 Fucked bin Laden
- 嘿 - 猎杀宾拉登 - Hey - Fucked bin Laden
嘿 Hey
- 猎杀宾拉登 - 嘿 - Fucked bin Laden - Hey
他要我上她不留余力 She wanted to fuck me
像美国政府消除异己 Harder than the U.S. Government
猎杀宾拉登 Fucked bin Laden
他要我上她 This girl requested intercourse
满足她的渴望 To bring her to climax
达到她的期望 With the clinical efficiency
还要像猎杀宾拉登的过程一样 Of the assassination of bin Laden
你像窝藏人犯一样慌张 You're harboring a fugitive... that ass
而正义即将伸张 And my justice will be punitive
- 我边打她 - 她用夜视镜 - I'm-a smash - Night vision
经由我的GoPro发现我的行踪 They could see us through my GoPro
她想谈判,我说免谈 She tried to negotiate, I say that's a no-no
我趴在地上全心想着撤退 Now I'm creepin' in her bedroom like go-go
她想要更进一步直接说 She tells me to go low, then looks down and says I gotta
直接来硬的吧 Terrorize that pussy
快点直接来硬的吧 Gotta terrorize that pussy
只好硬着头皮 So I did it
配合演出 Improvised some crazy shit...
- 海豹小组... - 这太烂了吧 - SEAL Team 69... - It's fuckin' awful.
我自己私底下可能不会听康纳的歌啦 Conner's music may not be what I listen to in my free time,
但感觉他有很好的吸金能力 but it seems to make so many people money.
蒙娜丽莎 Mona Lisa
你过誉的程度让我不屑 You're an overrated piece of shit
快来人给我解释为何全世界 Can someone explain why the whole wide world
都无法停止对你的痴迷爱恋 Is obsessed with a Garbage Pail Kid?
看起来只有一张痴肥圆脸! Looks like a Garbage Pail Kid!
你们今晚太棒了 Y'all have been so amazing.
很谢谢大家 今晚真的很棒 Thank you so much. What a beautiful night.
前面的大家 来点尖叫声 Everybody in the front make some noise!
两侧的来点尖叫声 Now everybody on the sides make some noise!
看台区的朋友 Now everybody way up in the upper deck
来点尖叫声 make some noise!
喔! Whoo!
康纳,我爱你!我爱你! Conner, I love you! I love you!
喔! Whoo!
哈利! 搞什么啊?! Harry! What the hell?!
首先,总共有1万8千个座位 First of all, this is an 18,000-seat arena.
没有人可以把票卖完好吗? Nobody sells this out.
你的票卖了1万5千张耶 这样还是很好啊 You sold 15,000 seats. That's still really good.
才不好 No, it's not good.
Hammerleg上个礼拜在这边就一票难求啊 Hammerleg sold this place out last week!
好吧其实Aquaspin也有跟我们说 Well, Aquaspin agrees with you.
他们也对售票状况颇有微词 They're concerned about ticket sales.
什么?这场馆有1万8千个座位耶 What? But it's an 18,000-seat place.
谁可以卖完啊? Nobody sells that out.
Hammerleg,上个礼拜就一票难求 Hammerleg did. Last week.
这个售票状况厂商很不满意 Look, the low record sales are making them nervous.
他们希望你能请一些开场嘉宾来暖场 They want to bring on an opening act.
啥啊?我们有人暖场了啊 欧文开场都有啊 What? We have an opening act. Owen deejays.
嘿,我说可以让"潮男"合体作开场嘉宾啊 Hey, I'm always saying Style Boyz could be the opener.
欸,别提"潮男"了 No, man. Will you stop with that?
老兄,大家每次都在我推特上面说 Dude, people keep blowing up my Twitter
希望我们来一次"驴风舞" about us doing "Donkey Roll."
- 你的推特有广大回响吗? - 对啊 - Oh, they're blowing up your Twitter? - Yeah.
你有多少人追踪,欧文? How many followers do you have, Owen?
- 大概50万吧 - 好啊,我有2千万粉丝 - Like, 500,000. - Okay, well, I got 20 million,
也没人这样说过啊 and no one's asking me to do that shit, so...
嘿! Hey-oh!
搞不好你的都是幽灵帐号啊 Some of those are probably bots.
大伙,不管怎么说 Okay, look, guys, regardless,
我们还是要想好开场嘉宾 we still have to decide on an opening act.
老兄 Man.
好啦好啦 All right, fine.
大家有人选吗? Does anybody have ideas?
有一位,但要你喜欢才行 One, but you are gonna like it.
我会喜欢这个人吗? Wait, did you say "are" or "aren't"?
会 Are.
耶! Yeah!
你们懂什么啊! You know the motherfucking piece of shit.
一起唱,"操你的猎手!" Say, "Fuck you, Hunter!"
操你的猎手! Fuck you, Hunter!
- 一起唱, "操你的猎手!" - 操你的猎手! - Say, "Fuck you, Hunter!" - Fuck you, Hunter!
一起来 重脚踏过整片雨林 Let's go! Stomping through the forest
像低能暴龙 Like a retarded tyrannosaurus
猎手爱嗑猛男 Hunter eatin' beefcakes
在我的福特后座操爆大家 In the back of a Ford Taurus, fuck a chorus
操我妈, 操你爸, 操这歌 Fuck my moms, fuck your dad, fuck this song...
哈利,你确定要找他吗?
我觉得这样挺好的啊 现在也找不到更好的了
"饥饿猎手",他是很受欢迎的饶舌歌手 Hunter the Hungry, he's just one of those rappers
他是不顾一切的那种人 where he just doesn't give a fuck.
有些人说他其实没看起来那么疯狂 People think that he ain't crazy.
才怪,有一次我在后台看到他 Nah, he crazy for real. I seen him backstage.
他不是在哈草喔 他直接把烟草拿起来吃 He wasn't smoking a blunt, he was just eating it.
其实猎手他还很年轻嘛 I mean, Hunter is the youth.
你知道新生代都这样的啊 You know, he's-he's what's next.
嘿 嘿, 我他妈超饥渴! Hey, hey, I'm fucking hungry!
呦! Yo!
- 怎样? - "全真康纳"? - What up? - Conner4Real?
本人耶? In the flesh? Hey, yo.
能够见到你本人是我的荣幸 It's-it's a honor to meet you, man.
呦, 想到"真途","潮男" Yo, CONNquest, Style Boyz.
我从小看到大的,你了吗? I grew up off that shit, fam.
- 谢啦,老兄 - 我想要跟你一样,康纳 - Thanks, man. - I want to be you, Conner.
但是是黑人版 But not white. Like, black still.
你知道,黑人比较屌 'Cause it's strong... it's a strong color.
- 当然啊 - 你真的超屌的 - For sure, yeah. - Like, you are that dude.
你知道你有多屌吗? Like, have you met you?
你知道你有多屌吗? Have you met you?
你! 你知道你有多屌吗? You! Have you met you?!
- 对对对对 - 你知道我在说啥吗? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - You know what I'm saying?
- 这超疯狂的 - 你就是这么屌 - This is crazy. - You be you.
我就是这个意思 Know I'm-a be all that,
你知道我们一起有多屌 'cause I'll tear some shit up. You know how it is!
没错 就是这样 That is real.
耶 Hell yeah!
我们一起一定会红的 We gonna turn up for sure.
喔,别乱来喔 Oh, don't hurt me!
- 你懂的! - 好啦 - You know how it is! - Okay.
不过讲真的老兄,我还是很尊敬你 Seriously, man, I'm-I'm real honored, dawg.
嗯,我保证不让你失望 Um, I'm not gonna let you down.
你就是我的偶像 You're my idol.
跟耶稣 Right next to Jesus.
跟摩根费里曼一样 And Morgan Freeman.
- 嗯嗯 谢啦 - 我会报答你 - Uh-huh. Yeah. - I'll hit you up.
好啦,我回来罗! Yeah, bitch, what up!
我觉得这小子不错 I like him.
你怎么会有辣椒? Where'd you get the cayenne?
- 不要拿我的九层塔啦! - 老兄不行喔,刚那个九层塔也是我的 - Get off my basil! - Nah, dawg. That's my basil, too, B!
不要拿我的九层塔啦!老兄! 那是我的九层塔! Get off my basil, dude! That's my basil!
那个九层塔也是我的! That's my basil, too!
- 别这样 - 葱也是我的好吗? - Come on, dude. - And chives, son.
你看我怎样杀这些鹿 And chives. Watch me kill this deer
干净俐落 啪,啪,啪,啪,啪 real quick. Pow, pow, pow, pow, pow.
- 你怎么办到的啊? - 老兄,这是鹿肉喔 - What? You can do that? - It's deer meat, son.
- 有吃过鹿肉吗? - 好屌喔 - It's deer meat, bitch. - Yo, dude.
这是什么鬼东西啊? What is this crazy shit?
喔,那是你的新装备啊! Oh, dude, that's your new head!
啥? What?
这是我帮你订作的 I had it specially made for you, man.
我趁你睡觉的时候量过了 I took the measurements while you were sleeping.
就是那种有未来感的电子舞曲啊 It's, like, on some futuristic EDM shit.
我有研究过,最近电子音乐正夯 We did the research, and EDM is hot.
搞些机器人的玩意很受欢迎 Robots on ecstasy and shit.
像傻瓜庞克、鼠来宝啊 Daft Punk, deadmau5,
DJ 汤米披萨, 欧普拉斯苹福瑞, 范恩理其(很像乱掰的人名) DJ Tommy Pizza, Oprah Spinfrey, Vinyl Richie,
R2-LSD2, R2-LSD2,
Ecstasy-3PO, LSD-3PO, Ecstasy-3PO, LSD-3PO,
艾尔顿强. Elton John.
这些人都大受欢迎 All those dudes are crushing.
- 你看他的功能 - 嗯嗯 - Look at all these functions. - Yeah.
就像拼字版啊 只是他会动 It's like a Lite-Brite, but it's moving.
嘿,看看这个 Oh, and check this out.
喔 哇 Oh, wow.
- 直上云端耶 - 上青天啊,老兄 - It goes all the way up there. - All the way, man.
好像星际间的灯塔一样了 It's like a beacon to space.
而且他还可以发出声音喔 And, plus, it makes this sound.
哇 Wow!
为什么要有这个功能啊 Why would it make that sound?
我也不知道啊 感觉蛮酷的 I don't even know, but it's nice to know
如果你有用到就很棒啊 that it's there if you need it.
- 对吧? - 是啦 - You know? - Yeah.
这头盔很屌吧 Yo, helmet's dope.
我感觉像是装一根柯博文的屌在身上 Looks like the tip of Optimus Prime's dick.
对吧? See?
你不想要看起来像柯博文吗? Don't you want to look like Optimus Prime?
的屌? His dick?
- 对啊! - 对啊! - Fuck yeah! - Fuck yeah!
老兄,我不知道耶 Yeah, man. I don't know.
欧文 Owen.
拜托 Please?
拜托,算我求你 戴着他表演,欧文 Please, please, wear the helmet, Owen.
来啦. 表演有他会很棒的 Come on, man. The show really needs it.
拜托啦 Please, man?
- 好吧,如果对演唱会有帮助的话 - 太好了! - I mean, if it'll help the tour. - Yes!
- 对啊 - 老兄,我们要席卷全场罗! - Yeah. - Dude, we're killing this!
哈罗,小姐你好 Well, howdy, ma'am
强盗二人组来报到 We the two banditos...
猎手加入之后让整个演唱会有了满满的能量 Having Hunter aboard has really energized the tour.
演唱会售票数扶摇直上 Tickets are selling.
局势要往我倒 Gonna turn that frown...
猎手蛮屌的 Hunter is the shit.
老兄你也很屌啊 Oh, I love you, too, man.
才怪 Oh, no, dude.
走开啦 No, get off me, dude!
走开!走开! Get off me, dude! Get off me!
强盗二人组大家都知道 Yeah, you know we're two banditos
让我喝口水再用力跳 Do a little dance and drink a little water...
让欧文戴上那个头盔 Putting that helmet
是很巧妙的想法 on Owen's head... that was a brilliant gimmick.
如果我当初也对赞恩这么做的话 And I wish I'd done that with Zayn.
我相信他会继续留在一世代的 We could've kept him in One Direction for years.
整人罗! Get pranked! Oh!
在演唱会的时候 Pranks is where it's at. You know what I'm saying?
像这样的恶作剧很容易逗大家开心 Like, you got to have fun on tour, yo.
老兄起床罗 Rise and shine, dude!
猎手的搞笑风格有点像 You know, he's got
他明明知道你不喜欢 that sense of humor, where it's like,
但他就是要硬来 stop now, please stop.
让你觉得很烦 Please stop. Please stop doing this.
但还是要硬来的那种 But he keeps on going.
- 下去吧! - 靠杯 - Get your ass in! - Oh, shit!
我们就像温驯的小猫 We're two cute little kittens, yeah
我们就像温驯的小猫 We're two cute little kittens
我们就像温驯的小猫 Yeah, we're two cute little kittens
通通不要吵 Shut the fuck up!
康纳,你刚去安妮之家拉屎? Conner, did you take a shit in the Anne Frank House?
现在不要进去 Do not go in there!
我在模仿王牌威龙! Ace Ventura!
最爱跟你堂妹相好 I fucked your first cousin with a didgeridoo
她看到我就放声大叫 And when she came, you know it sounded like
哇, 哇, 哇, 哇, 哇! Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow!
大家看看我的新朋友 This my new best friend
就在这里 right here!
我兄弟啦 This my nigga!
对啦,朋友 Yeah, that's my friend!
大家听我说 All right, listen up, everybody.
我想要恭喜大家 First of all, I want to say congratulations
今晚的演唱会太棒了 on a great show tonight!
没错 Yeah, yeah!
最近八场的演唱会都 And for the last eight shows,
一票难求! we have been sold out!
耶! Yeah!
我觉得现在一切终于上轨道了 It's like I was... I feel like it's finally just clicking.
- 对啊 - 嘿 - Yeah. - Hey!
- 我们联手无人能挡! - 没错! - We are on a roll, baby. - Yeah!
- 嗯 - 专辑的销售量有起色吗? - Yeah. - Is it helping album sales?
- 多少有改善吧? - 你也知道现在的市场 - It's got to be, right? - You know how it is, you know.
总是需要一点时间让市场回温 Sometimes it takes a while for the marketplace to catch up.
- 别担心 - 但绝对帮到了猎手 - Don't worry. - Definitely helping Hunter.
他刚拿到黄金唱片认证 This dude's album just went gold.
你说他卖了50万张? Gold?
- 真的啊 - 这怎么可能 - For real. - How is that even...
搞错了吧 That's a mistake, right?
我们都没卖50万张了 Our shit hasn't even gone gold.
嘿,他只是昙花一现而已 Look, he's just having a moment, that's all.
我们没有辉煌过吗? Well, how come I'm not having a moment?
我们早就辉煌好几次了 You've had tons of moments.
不要担心,我们还有很多机会 Don't worry, there's plenty to go around.
嘿,大家 Hey, yo!
大家为T.I.欢呼一下 Shout-out to T.I. in the house.
老兄你好吗? What's up, soulja?
好罗 What's up, kid? Okay!
大家 Uh-oh, y'all.
我的偶像饥饿猎手今天也有来喔 My man Hunter the Hungry's in the house!
来点欢呼声 Yo, make some noise!
- 耶! - 大家喜欢吗? - Yeah! - What's up, kid? Hey, yo.
你们想听现在最热门的歌吗? Y'all want to hear the hottest song in the streets right now?
我人还坐在这里耶
不要担心啦 It's on. Stomping through the forest
他们可能没发现你
It's on. 重脚踏过整片雨林 Like a retarded tyrannosaurus
像低能暴龙
猎手爱嗑猛男 , 在我的福特后座操爆大家 Hunter eating beefcakes in the back of a Ford Taurus...
你知道吗? Hey, look, man,
康纳现在算是他事业的顶点了 Conner got all the way to the top of this business, you know?
但你爬得越高就会摔得越痛 And the higher you get, the harder you fall.
- 你可以去打听一下 - 我觉得 - I mean, ask any coconut. - Thing is is that.
康纳单飞之后就有点走下坡了 Conner's never been as good as he was with the Style Boyz.
我不管他跟劳伦斯有什么不合啦 Whatever him and Lawrence were beefing over,
他们应该一起想办法克服啊 they need to figure out a way to squash it.
当"潮男"解散的时候 Ever since Style Boyz broke up,
劳伦斯对我很不满 Lawrence has been mad at me.
他总是宣称他写了那些脍炙人口的歌词 He claims he wrote my famous catchphrase verse.
对我来说,他就是羡慕嫉妒恨 Translation: He's a jealous-ass hater
他就是看不惯我红了但他自己在务农 who's mad that I blew up and he's a farmer
真的是一事无成 out in bum-fuck nowhere.
但你知道的 But, you know,
我们都有一套说法嘛 we all have our take.
这是我做的奖座 Uh, this one here, this is my Poppy.
之所以要做这个 Uh, it's what I got
是为了讽刺康纳因为他没写过的词而拿的奖 for writing Conner's famous catchphrase verse.
其实你靠近一点看就会知道这不是真的奖座 If you look close, you'll notice that it's not real,
没办法,真的奖座在康纳那边,我什么也没拿到 because I didn't get a Poppy or credit of any kind.
但有一个人,我由衷的感谢 But there is one person that I absolutely have to thank,
那个人就是我! and that person is me!
本人在下我! Me, myself and I!
我全部靠自己! I did it all by myself!
从头到尾没人帮我! Nobody helped me!
所以 So...
就这样啦 Yeah.
这是我的奖座 That's my Poppy.
如果他真的那么出色 If he's so great,
为什么他还是一事无成? how come he's not making anything, you know?
没人妨碍他啊 Nothing's stopping him from going out
他还是可以写出很多畅销歌啊 and writing a bunch of hits.
"潮男"解散之后我有一些个人的创作 After the Style Boyz, I tried some solo projects,
但都没有正式发行 but none of them really took off.
旧靴子, 擦手纸 Old boots, paper towels
导购女郎(电影), 小说 Shopgirl, a novella
除臭剂, 我家钥匙 Deodorant, house keys
圆领衫, 雨伞 Sweatshirt, an umbrella
高尔夫球杆, 篮球 A golf club, basketball
杀虫剂, 送洗衣 Bug spray, a laundry heap
折叠刀, 蓄电池 A pocketknife, a battery
这些是我吉普车里面的东西! These are the things in my Jeep!
这些是我吉普车里面的东西 These are the things in my Jeep...
我觉得我没听懂这首歌 I didn't really relate to that song,
因为我的吉普车里面 because, you know, I-I had different things in my Jeep
放的东西跟他不太一样 than he had in his Jeep.
我觉得康纳有点被宠坏了 I don't think Conner's living real life.
他被他喜欢的人包围 I think he's in a bubble with people
他们只说康纳想听的东西 telling him what he wants to hear
每天都在宠坏他 and kissing his ass all day.
就我所知他现在都在搞些舞台的把戏 I heard he's getting into stage gimmicks now.
像是欧文的那个头盔,我觉得很蠢 He's got Owen in a helmet, looking dumb.
他有一次直接把上厕所的布景搬上舞台 And one where he sings from a toilet.
却没人跟他说那看起来效果很差 Someone should've told him that shit's wack,
但你知道他无法承受打击的 but he's so afraid of failure,
我觉得他有点无所不用其极了 man, he's just getting desperate.
我们再试一次 Let's try it again.
啊啊!卡住了! Oh! Oh, it snagged!
粉丝你们好吗? What's up, my confidants?
今天晚上 Be sure to come through
要来喔 to my show tonight.
我在练习我的新魔术 I'm trying a brand-new magic trick.
有的人跟我说那是行不通的 You know, they said it couldn't be done,
这个把戏只有女生才玩得起 that the trick was designed for a woman,
我没办法克服这个问题 and my junk would get all tangled.
但我想到了绝妙好计 But I figured out how to solve it.
如果我稍为藏起来的话也许可以 I think if I just tuck it all back...
今晚见罗 See ya tonight.
来吧 Let's go!
嘿 Hey!
大家好吗? What is this, y'all?
我直上天际,现在来到外太空 I said upscale. You took me to outer space.
还是回地球好呢? What do you say we take it back down to Earth?
这样呢? What?
我觉得现在的装扮 This almost looks like
像个牛仔 something that a cowboy might wear.
你们在看我的裤子吗? Are y'all looking at my chaps?
或许我们回到都会风 But enough horsing around. Let's take things uptown.
如果来个复古一点的晚礼服呢? How about a good old-fashioned tuxedo?
我没用替身喔 There is no substitute.
世界第一! Top of the world!
- 喔,糟了!. - 下面呢? - Oh, shit. - Where is it?
不,喔不 No, uh, no.
我只是稍微藏起来了 It's tucked. I...
我是为了这个把戏才剃光的 I shaved for the trick!
- 不要PO上网喔! - 当哈利一行人靠近 - Don't post those pics! - As they approached
- 禁忌森林的时候 - 这是一个魔术的技巧 - the edge of the Dark Forest... - It's an illusion.
我只是把他藏起来了 It's tucked, I tuck it back.
康纳,你等我一下 Conner, just hold on.
大家不要上传 这只是一个小把戏 Don't post those. It's a tuck-and-tape!
我不知道怎么解释 I don't know what to do right now.
我也不想藏起来 但我现在不能给你们看 I want to show y'all my dick, but I can't show you my dick!
这很难解释! 这很难解释! It's a great conundrum. It's a great conundrum!
老天啊,老兄你的屌哩? Holy shit, dude, where the fuck was your dick, dawg?
刚到底怎么回事啊! What happened out there?!
这招怎么失灵了啊 What happened to the trick?
康纳,不要大惊小怪 没有人看到什么啊 Conner, don't worry. Nobody saw anything.
我还希望他们看到勒! I wish they had seen something!
外面现在有1万个人觉得我没老二 Now there's 10,000 people that think I got no dick!
等一下,你们知道我有老二吧 Wait, you guys know I have a dick, right?
- 当然啊,就只是... - 有,你当然有 - Yeah. It's just... - You do. You-you do.
- 对啊 - 我一直相信你有老二 - Yes. - I've always believed you had a dick.
对对对 但是等一下,到哪去了? R-Right, right, right, but, like, where was it though?
我们没看到啊 Because that motherfucker was gone.
我们早就讨论过了 We've gone over this. I...
我只是稍微藏起来 You know I got to tuck my shit back
这样我换装的时候不会阻碍到我 so it doesn't get tangled up in the garments.
- 这很合理啊 - 对啊 - Yeah, that makes perfect sense. - Of course.
就在两腿之间啊 Got to put it in between the legs.
不要再烦恼了 Conner, don't worry about it.
你在那边了不起才十秒 You were up there for, like, ten seconds.
那十秒跟永恒有什么两样啊,哈利 Ten seconds is an eternity, Harry!
再久一点都要到火星了! It's a third of the way to Mars!
康纳,我要跟你说 Conner, we've talked about this.
30秒上火星是一个乐团的名称 30 Seconds to Mars is the name of a band.
那不符合现实 It's not a fact.
老兄,还是谢了 Hey, look, thank you, dawg,
因为这超搞笑的啦! because this shit was hilarious, fam!
谢谢你啊,很高兴我逗笑你了 Well, I'm so glad that I could entertain you, Hunter.
这该不会是你弄的吧? You wouldn't happen to know anything about this, would you?
我真希望是我搞的 Ah. I wish.
这就好像是顶级的恶作剧 This is, like, genius prank shit right here.
跨越世代的大作 Next level.
你可以成为世纪大玩笑啊 You would have to be the best prankster of all time
这样想就好了嘛 to think of something like this.
这局如果是我设的... And, well, shit, that's... shit, that's me.
搞不好喔 Maybe I did do it.
骗你的,没啦 Nah, I didn't do it.
我有吗? Or did I?
骗你的,我没啦 Nah, I didn't.
又好像有喔 Or maybe I did.
不做可惜耶. Not. Do it.
- 是你搞的?! - 我没做 - Did you?! - I didn't do it.
或有做 Or I did.
谁知道啊!起码我不知道啦! Who knows?! I don't!
康纳,你先稍安勿躁 Conner, don't worry, don't worry.
这不是什么大新闻 This is not news.
不要PO上网! Don't post those!
搞什么啊?! What the fuck?!
这新闻来的太刚好了吧! The timing of that was crazy!
- 康纳没屌? - 他可以改名 - Conner dickless? - They should call him.
"真"不屌 NoDick4Real.
琳达,他只是藏起来了 这是表演的一部分啊 It was tucked, Linda. It's part of the show.
- 别,别印出来 - 到处都看得到 - No, no, don't print that! - Everywhere I look.
这太扯了吧 This is insane.
现在变今日美国的头版 Now it's on the front page of USA Today,
这还算是全世界最有权威的刊物? the most respected newspaper in the world?
放轻松 Sweetie, relax.
我们只需要其他猛料 All we need is a different story
- 把他挤下新闻版面就好了 - 嗯嗯 - to wipe it out of the press cycle. - Mm-hmm.
好啊,怎么做啊,你说啊? Okay, so what? What do we do?
都可以啊,发新单曲 Anything. Uh, release a new single.
换个疯狂的新发型 Get a crazy haircut.
还是带一个恐龙妹去毕业舞会啊 Or, uh, take an ugly teenager to the prom.
听起来都不错 All good ideas.
你们继续想 Let's keep thinking about it.
我要在推特发我的屌图了 And I'm gonna go tweet a picture of my dick.
嘿,你不要开玩笑喔 Okay, don't really do that.
为了改变媒体形象,康纳决定向他的女朋友艾希利求婚
我觉得这样可以稍微改变 Ah, man, I just think it's gonna really
世人对我的印象 change people's perception of me
往好的方面啦 in a good, positive way.
毕竟我也是很认真看待这段感情 And also, I'm really glad about the fact
我爱她,而且我们要结婚了 that we'll get married, too, 'cause I like her so much.
康纳,这哪招? Conner, what's going on?
等一下就知道了 You'll see.
天啊,你还放音乐? Oh, my God, is that music?
对啊 Yeah.
快到了 Almost there. And...
嗯? Uh-huh?
- 准备好了吗? - 嗯嗯 - You ready? - Mm-hmm.
这些狼是真的吗? Are those real wolves?
是啊 Yeah.
康纳! Conner!
我的算命师 My psychic told me
说我上辈子是一头狼 that in my previous life, I was a wolf.
我很相信这个说法 Which makes so much sense.
但我不相信康纳竟然记得这件事 But I can't believe that Conner remembered.
你还邀请那么多媒体? And you invited the press?
对啊 Yeah.
我抵达伦敦 I landed in London
正好11点45分 At a quarter to noon...
我的天啊 那是席尔本人吗? Oh, my God. Is that, is that Seal?
- 是啊 - 干嘛这样? - Yeah. - What is this?
怎么了啊? What's going on?
她是万中选一 I know she's exquisite
想要知道她的心意 So I had to visit
当我推开... Push my back to the front...
当我遇见你的时候我就知道了 Ever since I met you, I knew in my heart
我知道就是你了 that you were super bangin'.
大哥,麻烦你把音乐先停一下 Hey, uh, dude, you got to kill this music.
狼群现在很不安份 The wolves are going crazy.
现在怎么能叫席尔停啊 I can't stop Seal from singing.
你就是无懈可击... With impeccable style...
不好意思,可以让那些狼小声一点吗? Sorry, could we get the wolves to be more quiet?
不可能啦 No.
只有你能让我动心... You're the only girl that I want to think...
艾希利温斯戴 Ashley Wednesday...
你愿意嫁给我吗? will you marry me?
请你马上答应 Please freaking say yes, girl...
我愿意!我愿意! Yes! Yes!
狼群失控了! The wolves are loose!
- 靠! - 靠!跟我来! - Shit! - Shit! Okay.
- 天啊! - 快跑! - Oh, God! - Go, run, now!
跑啊! Run!
老天爷! Jesus Christ!
现场狼群已经... We got wild animals...
席尔! Seal!
席尔, 快来! Seal, come on!
快点! Hurry!
- 你没事吧? - 我没事 - Are you okay? - I'm fine. For a second...
- 席尔! - 席尔! - Seal! - Seal!
靠杯! Shit! Oh!
- 席尔! - 我的天啊,你搞定了! - Seal! - Oh, my God! You got him, dude!
不要担心,我以前有遇过 Don't worry. I've been in this situation before.
不然你以为我脸上的疤怎么来的 How do you think I got these scars?
- 你被狼咬过? - 该死的狼 - From wolves? - Fucking wolves.
我们快点走吧 Now, let's get out of here...
三小啊! What the fuck?!
- 快走!快走! - 走! - Go! Go! - Go!
我们害死席尔了! We killed Seal!
- 他要死掉了啦! 席尔被咬了! - 席尔要挂了啦! - He's dead! Seal is dead! - He's dead!
知名R&B歌手席尔决定控告"全真康纳"... Conner4Real is being sued by R&B singer Seal for...
他为什么要害席尔啊? Why would he do that to Seal?
- 我不知道怎么说耶... - "全真康纳"就是一个大笑话 - I don't even know... - Conner4Real is such a joke.
他真的很让我失望 He disappointed all of us. I mean...
你有看到那个求婚仪式吗? 根本是骗局吧 Did you see that proposal? It was so fake.
我觉得他们不是真心相爱 Like, I don't even think they like each other.
你为什么要这样陷害席尔? Why did they do that to Seal?
他甚至没有老二耶 He doesn't even have a dick.
我以前也是他的粉丝,但现在 I used to like Conner4Real, but now I wish
我希望他不要再出来了 he would just go away.
- 为了挽救低迷的人气 - 今晚的嘉宾是 My first guest,
- 康纳参加了吉米法伦的"今夜秀" - "全真康纳"! Conner4Real!
我只想要再次感谢席尔 I just want to thank Seal again
并希望他早日康复 and wish him a fast recovery.
希望他一切都好 He's gonna be fine.
说得好 That's great news.
并顺便恭喜 That's great news, and congrats again
- 你跟艾希利的喜讯 - 谢谢 - to you and Ashley. - Thank you, thank you.
大家别忘记去买"真途"支持我喔 And, you know, don't forget CONNquest in stores now.
- 要买喔 - 这一定啊 - Cop that. - Yeah, absolutely.
绝对要支持的 Absolutely.
可以让我当一下迷弟吗? Can I, can I just fanboy out for a second?
因为你早期的歌里面 Uh, because my-my favorite thing of yours
- 我最喜欢的就是"驴风舞"了 - 喔 - from-from back in the day, the "Donkey Roll." - Oh.
大家都知道啊 You guys know...
- 当然,当然 - 那些小子们 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - For the kids out there,
"驴风舞"是康纳以前的作品 The "Donkey Roll" is from Conner's old group
来自"潮男"时期 the Style Boyz.
我以前... When I...
- 嗯哼 - 我是不想吹嘘啦 - Yeah. - You know what I'm saying? I don't want to brag,
我以前念书的时候也跳过"驴风舞" but I used to do a mean "Donkey Roll" back in college.
- 不是我在盖啦 - 喔,你说真的吗? - I'm just saying. - Oh, for real?
有些人觉得我跳得比你还好 Some-some said I-I did it better than yours.
喔 Oh.
- 不要这样 - 不是啦 - Come on, now. - No...
吉米法伦,不要来这套喔 Don't do that, Jimmy Fallon.
我刚好像有在后台看到康特小子 I think I saw Kid Contact backstage.
你觉得请他出来一下怎么样? Do you think that we could get him out here and...?
你确定是他吗? I doubt he'd be into it.
你们套好了吗? Y'all set me up?
喔! Oh!
我来当布莱恩小子 Okay, I'll be filling in for Kid Brain!
老师,麻烦"驴风舞"! Roots, "Donkey Roll" up!
让我看看你的驴风舞 Let me see that donkey roll
驴风舞 Donkey roll...
我很喜欢"驴风舞" I loved the "Donkey Roll."
"驴风舞"超屌的 The "Donkey Roll" was the shit.
我就是看了那个才学跳舞的 That's the reason why I dance.
每个中学生的舞蹈表演 Every junior high dance
结尾都会来一段"驴风舞" had to end with the "Donkey Roll."
在舞台上跟他一起 I dreamed of doing the "Donkey Roll"
跳"驴风舞"是我的梦想 onstage with them.
驴风舞 Donkey roll.
大家喜欢吗? Yo, everybody!
太棒了,谢谢你! It's all right! Thank you, buddy.
刚那超High的! Yo, dude, how fun was that shit?
- 你确定? - 对啊 - Are you serious? - Yeah.
我希望刚是劳伦斯跟我们一起跳 I wish Lawrence could've been here.
欧文,刚那样哪里好啊 Owen, that sucked.
我在烦恼专辑销售量没心情怀旧好吗! I'm trying to sell a record, not stroll down memory lane.
刚那个东西让我现在看起来过气了 That shit made me look like a has-been.
不是啦 Come on, man.
大家都很喜欢啊 The crowd loved it.
随便啦 Whatever, man.
好吧 All right.
"真途"正式跌出告示牌榜单
你要先知道 Well, look, you have to understand something.
康纳是个幸运的人 Conner's lived a very blessed life.
可以说是少年得志啦 He got very successful very, very young.
- 别别别! - 就因为这样 - No, no, no... - And because of that,
他很难好好的处理 he never really learned to handle adversity
像是这样的挫折 in an adult way.
现场有多少人 How many people here
买我的新专辑"真途"啊? bought my new album, CONNquest?
你们这些大骗子! All y'all liars!
我知道你们没买! I know you didn't buy it!
你们这些家伙还支持我吗? Do you guys even like me anymore?
难以置信的是 Could've seen this coming.
"全真康纳"已经被他的未婚妻甩了 Conner4Real dumped by new fiancée Ashley Wednesday.
嘿,康纳! Hey, Conner!
为什么艾希利甩了你? Why did Ashley dump you, brah?
- 滚啦 - 不要这样 - Get the fuck off my ass. - Yo, man!
- 他妈的! - 我们现在 - Son of a bitch! - Yo, I could really use you
- 很需要你 - 嗯嗯 - out here, man. - Mm-hmm.
我们明天到丹佛 Yo, w-we're in Denver tomorrow.
请你来一趟 我派车过去接你好了 Come through. I-I'll send a car for you.
他真心诚意要道歉? He really wants to apologize?
对啊 Yes, dude.
先不要叫,小声 Stop. Down.
我觉得我们都有点昏头了 This business can be crazy, man.
我想这就是为什么 That's why it's so important
你会想跟你信任的人合作 to be around people that you trust,
最好是从小就认识的好朋友 that you've grown up with.
- 我是说 - 说什么啦? - I mean... - What is that?
而且,劳伦斯可能是 And plus, Lawrence was always
全世界最能鼓舞康纳的人了 the one who could cheer Conner up.
你懂我意思吗? You know?
- 嗯嗯 - 拜托好吗? - Mm-hmm. - Dude, please.
他现在很需要一些知心朋友 He really needs his real friends right now.
他现在需要你 He needs you.
那是什么声音啊? Yo, what's that sound in the background?
就 Oh, it's just, uh,
我女朋友 my girlfriend.
她在我床上 I'm having sex with her.
或许我会过去 All right, man. Uh, maybe.
也许吧,我再考虑一下 You know, maybe. I'll think about it.
昨天晚上我看了 So last night, I caught a little bit
一部电影 of this obscure old movie
叫"天生一对",听过吗? called The Parent Trap, right?
电影里面有一对红发双胞胎姊妹 And in that movie, these two little redheaded girls,
希望他们离婚的父母再续前缘 they get the idea to trick their divorced parents
因此想办法制造见面机会 into falling back in love with each other.
我就想啦 So I was like, yo,
要是我把劳伦斯跟康纳 if I just get Lawrence and Conner
也如法炮制 in the same room together,
他们也会因此合好 boom, they're gonna realize that they're friends,
这样我们就可以回到以前那样了 and we all can all be buddies again.
蒙娜丽莎 Mona Lisa
你过誉的程度让我不屑 You're an overrated piece of shit
看起来只有一张痴肥圆脸! What the fuck is this garbage?
泰瑞斯!闭嘴啦! Tyrus! Shut up, man!
- 我们在看电视耶 - 吵三小啊 - We're watching TV. - Quiet, dude!
唱歌不是你的专业好吗? Leave the singing to the professionals, please. Yeah?
抱歉,我错了 You're right. I-I'm sorry.
切小声点啦 And cut softer, dawg.
这首歌献给西班牙的朋友 Dedicated to the people of Ethpania...
我之前去西班牙的时候 We were on the road in Spain,
我发现到当地人 and I noticed that the people there
只要念到有"S"的音 pronounce the letter "S"
他们都会发"TH"的音 with, like, a T-H, "the," sound.
所以他们都不念"Spain" So instead of saying "Spain,"
他们会说"Thpain",听懂吗? they say "Thpain," you know?
好像整个国家的人都有这种口音 And it's like the whole country has a crazy speech impediment.
我因此写了一首歌 Um, so I wrote a "thong" about that.
大声唱伊维沙沙沙 Now theeng! In Ibithathathathathatha
每天都像狂欢节一样样样 Every day's a fiethta-thta-thta
舞池里面都是演说家家家 Speakers boom on the dance floor, floor, floor...
别PO上网! 别PO上网! (欧文在舞台上玩手机) Don't post those pics! Don't post those pics!
每个人都像大明星啊啊啊 Everyone is a thtar, thtar, thtar, thtar
大家都爱西班牙菜啦啦啦 Our tummies are full of pae-jhay-ah...
太正点啦 All right!
- 谢啦 - 老兄不错喔 - Ah, thanks, man. - Man, good shit!
刚重拍的时机恰到好处 You dropped it perfect right on that one.
- 没有啦 - 谢啦 - Oh, thanks, man. - Oh, thanks.
嘿,我邀请了劳伦斯 Oh, hey, um, I invited Lawrence
来我们的庆功派对 to come to the after-party tonight.
- 他等一下可能会在这 - 啥?劳伦斯来了? - So he might be here. - What? Lawrence is here?
有啊,我有跟你讲过 Yeah, man. Oh, you know, I told you
他住在这附近我就想说 he lives right nearby here, so I just thought
藉这个机会的话挺方便的 it'd be cool for him to come.
其实他是想跟你道歉啦 He actually, he wanted to apologize to you...
欧文 Owen.
你是不是在学"天生一对"? Are you trying to Parent Trap us?
才没有 No.
老天啊,他看起来像山顶洞人 God, he looks like a caveman.
你看一下他 怎么像个杀人犯啊 Look at this fool. He's about to murder somebody.
是车子里面的光线啦 I think it's just the lighting in the limo.
- 你说啥?! - 不是啦,你看啊 - What?! - No, seriously.
然后他又面无表情才会这样 I think that... that's just his resting face.
- 他现在很放松 - 所以等一下他 - He's just relaxing. - So what, he just
会跟我道歉然后我马上原谅他 apologizes to me, and I'm supposed to forgive him,
我们马上又变一家人了? and then we go back to being a big, happy family?
就是这样啊 Something like that.
没错啊 Yeah.
好吧 All right.
"潮男" Style Boyz.
又齐聚一堂了! In the house. Right?
- 靠,烂透了 - 不,才不要 - Nah. Fuck this. - No. - No. No.
粉丝们冲过来了 Fans got through the gate.
- 我现在要锁门 - 司机,我要下车 - We got to lock up. - Let me out, man.
开门啦 Yo, unlock the doors.
对啊,赶快走啊,你最会了 Yeah, you should go, man. Bail... that's your move.
才怪,你才最会逃避 That's not my move. That's your move. You bailed.
我要逃什么,大家那么喜欢我 I didn't bail. People like me best,
是你不行,我才单飞的 and you couldn't handle it, so I did my own thing.
大家喜欢的那些歌是我写的词好吗? People like you best 'cause of the shit I wrote.
他们是喜欢我的词,你不要搞错了 They don't like your shit, they like my shit,
- 他们不知道你做的事 - 劳伦斯你看一下旁边好吗? - and they don't even know it. - Take a look around, Lawrence.
如果你真的那么厉害 If you were so important to my success,
为什么我单飞之后更红了 how come my solo shit's way bigger
以前"潮男"有这样? than Style Boyz ever was?
那是托欧文的福好吗? You had Owen making all your beats.
你根本就在拖累他,只有你根本不行 And now you ditched him, and your shit's tanking.
我就那么差劲吗? Why can't you just give me any credit, man?
承认我的才华那么难吗? Just admit that I'm talented.
那你为什么不承认我写了那些歌词? Why can't you admit that I wrote the catchphrase verse?
- 又讲这个 - 如果没有我写的词 - Oh, this shit again. - None of this garbage out here
- 你能有今天? - 康纳! - is possible without me. - Conner!
- 承认吧 - 我爱你! - Admit that shit. - I love you!
外面到底在搞什么鬼啊? Man, what the fuck is going on out there?
- 康纳,签在我的胸部上! - 你说这个? - Conner, sign my tits! - Oh, what, this?
这些大奶 This is just some beautiful-ass titties, man.
每天都有,我的粉丝要我在上面签名 My fans ask me to sign them all the time,
因为他们很喜欢我,我也很爱他们,你懂吗? because they love me, and I love them, Lawrence.
老实讲好了,你该认清事实了 And you know what? You need to grow up, dude.
你看到的这个 Because this right here,
就是我的成就 this is what it's all about, my friend.
艺术创作 Making art.
与人互动 Connecting with people.
这就是大巨星的生活 This is that rock star life, my man,
而且我超级 and I'm slurping it down like a big old
- 享受这过程 - 嘿,康纳? - fat milkshake. - Hey, Conner?
- 欧文不要吵啦!我要签名了! - 我是说... - Not now, Owen! I'm gonna sign these titties. - I'm just...
老友,你就在旁边看好了 So sit back and watch how it's done, my friend.
我来... 靠杯啊! 怎么有根老二啊! I'm gonna... Oh, shit! Oh! It's a dick!
是你的粉丝啊,快去 That's one of your fans, man. Go for it.
- 唔! - 可以帮我注明给珍娜? - Ooh! - Can you make it out to Jenna?
- 喔,你好啊 - 我是珍娜. - Oh, hello. - That's me.
很高兴看到你 It's nice to meet you.
- 这是我未婚夫 - 这样啊 - That's my fiancé's penis. - Ah.
- 我是大粉丝 - 谢了,好窝心喔 - Big fan. - Thanks, man. So tight.
他来了 Okay, he's inside.
那我来... I'm just gonna...
帮他签名 do the old John Hancock.
你们"潮男"要合体了吗? Are you guys getting back together? Style Boyz?
- 没 - 没有喔 - 我们有在考虑 - No. - No. Right on. - We're thinking about it.
我要关上窗户了 I'm gonna roll the window up now, so just...
谢谢你们的支持 Thanks for coming by.
- 很高兴看到你们 - 我不跟你废话了,劳伦斯 - Great to meet you guys. - I rest my case, Lawrence.
你觉得你行,但实际上 You think you know what's up, but in fact,
你什么也不懂! you, my friend, have no idea what's going on.
你不要再打给我了 Don't call me again.
劳伦斯 Lawrence, dude.
不要这样啦 Don't leave like that.
靠 Shit.
直接开到洗车厂 We should probably hit the car wash.
不能玩耍整天繁忙 All work and no play
让猎手抓狂 Make Hunter go crazy
整天玩耍闲得发慌 All play and no work
让猎手前途茫茫 Make Hunter feel just as depressed
叫我OJ辛普森 I'm O.J., I'm Simpson
叫我玛莎普林顿 I'm Martha, I'm Plimpton...
流行音乐奖有回应我们了 Finally heard back from the Poppies.
- 真的吗? - 对啊,他们很喜欢你的作品 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. They-they love you.
但最近... Um, they just...
只是今年可能没有你的机会了 they just don't have enough room for you this year.
搞什么? What? For real?
我知道,我们有点倒楣 Yeah, it's a bummer. I know.
我跟他们说有变动的话告知我们 I told them to keep us in mind if anything changes.
还是有机会的 It could come around.
这产业很不容易啊 This business is tough.
强者越强,弱者越弱 The highs are high, and the lows are low.
就好像海浪一样 You know? It's like a wave.
你要学会怎么驾驭这个浪头 You just got to learn how to ride the wave, you know?
有时起有时落的 It's up and down, just like that.
汤尼!汤泥!汤倪!汤霓? Tony! Toni! Toné! TonEe?
没有起来 Bartending.
"潮男" Style Boyz.
"全真康纳" Conner4Real.
我开始担心要开始走下坡了 That means I might be going down again soon.
Hey-ya, hey-ya, ho, hey-ya, hey-ya, ho... Hey-ya, hey-ya, ho, hey-ya, hey-ya, ho...
哈利,他已经超过30分钟了 Harry, he's 30 minutes over.
他快结束了 I'm sure he'll be done soon.
我不会离开这舞台 I'm never gonna leave this stage!
我要死在舞台上! I'm gonna die up here!
好啦,不管了 All right, that's it.
欧文,装备带着 Owen, get your gear.
- 好了 - 法兰克,准备 - Got it. - Frank, cue it up.
康纳,你要干嘛? Conner, what are you doing?
哈利,我要上台了 I'm going on, Harry!
希望你有带便盆! You better get a bedpan!
我要High一整晚了! I'm-a be here all night, bitch!
大家都想看猎手对吧? Who came here to see Hunter the Hungry, huh?
那谁要来看 And who came here to see.
"全真康纳"啊? Conner4Real?
老兄你搞什么啊?
老兄我才想问你! What's up, y'all?
大家好吗?
嘿
那次是我弄你
是我搞的鬼
你说什么? What'd you just say?
- 放我的歌!放我的歌! - 你刚说什么? Contact, skip the intro.
前奏不要了 - Go to "Humble." - Stompin' through the forest
- 直接放"我最谦恭" - 重脚踏过整片雨林 Like a retarded tyrannosaurus...
像低能暴龙
我说我就是 最谦虚地 Y'all know I be the most humblest...
猎手爱嗑猛男, 在我的福特后座操爆大家 In the back of a Ford Taurus, fuck a chorus...
说到谦虚 我排第一 On top of the humble list, my...
- 哈利我们要讨论一下 - 我知道 - All right, Harry, we got to talk. - I know.
- 今晚我们搞砸了 - 对啊 - That was a mess out there tonight. - Yeah.
我们要叫猎手滚 We have to get rid of Hunter.
康纳,我们不能叫他滚 We can't fire Hunter, Conner.
是因为他演唱会的票才卖完的 I mean, he's one of the reasons that the tour sold out.
我要他从我的演唱会消失 I want him off the tour.
等一下,他现在人气很旺 Well, look, he's number one on BonkoHub right now.
喔,所以我不红? Well, what number are we?
红不红不是重点,康纳你最清楚的啊 Numbers don't matter. Come on, you know that.
- 老天啊 - 嘿,可以讨论一下这个头盔吗? - God. - Hey, could we talk about this helmet?
- 这太重了,我担心我的背会受伤 - 欧文 - It's crazy heavy, and it's really hurting my back. - Owen,
你在说什么啊?你知道我们在讨论什么吗? why are you talking right now? Why are you in this meeting?
我知道啊 I'm in all of our meetings.
老兄,请你离开好吗? Dude, just leave, all right?
你去找劳伦斯啦 Go have a meeting with Lawrence.
等一下,专辑卖得不好 You know, it's not my fault
不是我的问题好吗? that the album's not selling, okay?
不要怪在我的头上 Don't take it out on me.
好啊 Great.
哈利,猎手走定了 Harry, we have to get rid of Hunter, all right?
我不是请你同意,我是叫你马上这样做 I'm not asking, I'm telling.
你是我的经纪人,不是他的 You represent me, not him.
好吧,可是实际上... Okay, look, well, actually...
我算是... technically...
老实说,我是你们的经纪人 Full disclosure: I represent both of you.
什么? What?
就是这样 Yeah.
你跟他签约? You signed him?
康纳别这样 Conner, come on.
哈利你在开玩笑吗? Are you kidding me, Harry?
这是赚钱嘛 It's just business.
跟别人一起赚 It's not to me!
好啊,那你选一个,你要跟他还是跟我 All right, look, decide right now, him or me.
没必要这样吧 Come on, don't go there.
我有家要养耶 Look, I got a family to feed.
什么啊?你哪有家要养 What? No, you don't!
- 我有外甥女 - 谁没有外甥女啊! - I have a niece. - We all have a niece!
你知道吗? You know what?
我要开除你 You're fired.
康纳,你太... Conner, you... you're just...
你太生气了,导致你反应过度了 you're upset and you're overreacting.
太好了,现在我要捡了 Okay, now I got to collate that.
很好啊,你慢慢捡啊 Great. Have fun collating.
一点也不好! There's no fun in collating!
我的粉丝啊 What's up, my confidants?
你们觉得我还可以指望谁啊? Who can you really trust?
我以为我可以相信我的经纪人 I thought I could trust my manager,
结果他从头到尾只想 but it turned out he was stabbing me in the back
暗地里捅我一刀 the whole time.
我以为席尔是我朋友 I thought I could trust Seal.
我以为我可以相信Yelp上面 I thought I could trust the Yelp reviews
"派对狼群"的众多好评 of PartyWolves.com.
这让我想问 Really makes you think, doesn't it?
谁背地里想陷害你 Who's out there, scheming behind my back,
谁想夺走我努力的这一切 trying to take what I built?
我得知道我可以信任谁 I need to find out who I can really trust.
大伙来,我做好罗 All right, y'all, come and get 'em!
- 康纳的煎饼做好罗 - 哇! - Conner's fancy flapjacks! Right here! - Whoa!
哇,谢罗 Wow! Thanks, Conn.
吃吧吃吧 Eat up, eat up, eat up, eat up.
- 嗯 - 史邦奇 - Mm! - Sponge,
你喜欢这些煎饼吗? you liking those pancakes?
- 我觉得很棒耶 - 对啊 - They're so good. Yeah. - Yeah.
艾迪呢?你觉得好吃吗? Eddie? Feeling these?
- 好 - 嗯啊 - Okay. - Mm-hmm.
抱歉啊 Dude, I'm sorry.
我不能接受,这些太难吃了 I can't. Conn, these are terrible, man.
真的很抱歉 I'm really sorry.
欧文谢谢你 Thank you, Owen.
谢谢 Truly.
- 好喔 - 所以你们其他人喜欢罗? - Okay. - And the rest of you liked them?
当然啊 Yeah.
对啊对啊 Yup. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
那..这实在太让人失望了 Well... that's very disappointing,
因为这些煎饼真的很恶 because they are not good.
- 我就知道 - 之所以恶心是因为 - I knew it. - And the reason they're not good
我在里面加了狗大便 is because I put dog shit in them.
- 什么?! - 老兄太恶了吧! - What?! - Aw, dang, dude!
- 太低级了啦! - 这很扯耶 - That's nasty! - Oh, that's... hilarious.
我之所以要这样 The reason that I did that
是想要知道谁在那边骗我 is to see who would tell me the truth!
康纳,这招厉害 Oh... Conn, that's mad smart!
- 你脑筋动最快了 - 停 - Yeah, he's always two steps ahead. - No.
不要再这样了 No, stop doing that, you guys.
我就是不想要你们唯唯诺诺 This is what I'm talking about. You can't just agree
- 同意我讲的一切事情 - 我同意,我同意,我同意 - with everything I say. - No doubt, no doubt, no doubt.
- 对,这样帮不上忙 - 对啊,要诚实 - It's not helpful. - Got to be honest.
等一下,你们又来了 No, you're doing it again, all right? Just stop!
你给我们吃狗大便? You fed us dog shit?
- 你有病喔?! - 欧文,可以冷静一下吗? - What is wrong with you?! - Owen, chill out, man.
只有你通过这个考验,你过关了耶 You're the only one who passed the test. You're good.
你他妈怎么会觉得我跟这些人一样想拍你马屁啊? How the fuck can you think I was one of your lackeys, dude?
我们从小一起长大的 I'm your oldest friend.
- 嘿,我们也是他朋友啊! - 我们大家都是好朋友 - Hey, we're friends! - We're all friends.
我真该早点让你清醒的 I should've told you to fuck off years ago,
结果我却害你 but instead I just let you become
- 变一个王八蛋 - 我很抱歉好吗 - a bigger and bigger dick. - Look, I'm sorry,
但我让你一起巡回,也有付你薪水 but I've kept you on the tour, I keep you paid,
连餐点还是我帮你准备的! I put food on the table!
你加了狗大便耶! With dog shit in it!
那是为了测验! It's the thought that counts, man!
我的天啊,好吧,我不干了 Oh, my God, that's it. I quit.
你不能就这样不干了 You can't quit.
康纳,我在这还能干什么? What do I even do anymore, Conner?
我只能戴着头盔按播放键而已啊 I push play on an iPod in a robot costume.
好吧,如果你要这样 All right, fine, then.
你走吧 Go.
好啊 Fine.
太好了 Fine.
好极了 Fine.
麦希穆斯? Maximus?
我到家罗 I'm home, buddy.
他有时候会跑到这下面 Sometimes he kicks it in here.
麦斯! Max!
你有听到吗? You hear that?
麦斯? Max?
你怎么了? What are you doing?
你生病了吗? What's wrong with you?
你怎么那么苍白? Why are you all white?
怎么会发出那种叫声啊? Why is he making that sound?
喔,不! Oh! Oh, fuck!
麦希穆斯有麻烦了! There's something wrong with Maximus!
他看起来好苍白喔 快点啊! His scales are all ashy. Come on!
不!不要挡路啦! No! Get out of the way!
走开啦! Move! Come on!
拜托,请让开 我的乌龟生病了! Please, please move! My turtle is sick!
我要带他去医院! I got to get him to the hospital!
我怕他撑不下去了! He's gonna die!
麦希穆斯! Maximus...!
当我走过死亡的幽谷 As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
我回想我的一生我已不抱遗憾 I take a look at my life and realize there's nothing left.
麦希穆斯是我最好的朋友 Maximus was my best friend,
他每天都被风湿性关节炎折腾 who struggled daily with soggy bone syndrome,
却不曾抱怨过 but never complained once.
"全真康纳"与马丁辛大打出手 Conner4Real fighting with Martin Sheen
- 一拳击倒 - 你说演白宫风云的那位吗? - gets knocked the "F" out. - The guy from The West Wing?
- 阿蒂卡!阿蒂卡!阿蒂卡! - 目前看来康纳的处境越来越糟了 - Attica! Attica! Attica! - Things going from bad to worse
日前被拍到他在市区使用悬浮滑板时 for Conner4Real, seen unconscious
却完全不省人事 rolling around town on a hoverboard.
跟你天上的家人团聚吧 Now go, and join your family
去属于乌龟的天堂吧 in turtle heaven.
太爽啦! Fuck yeah!
俏皮, 性感, 俏皮, 俏皮 Flirty, sexy, flirty, flirty
俏皮, 性感, 俏皮, 俏皮 俏皮, 性感... Flirty, sexy, flirty, flirty, flirty, sexy...
Aquaspin与康纳解约
巡回演出也提前中止
是时候了 It's time, man.
有时候大明星要急流勇退 You got to know when to go home.
要知道什么时候该退出萤光幕前 Bro, you got to know when to let go.
关键就在不要玩火自焚 The key is don't play yourself. That's it.
这很简单 Very simple.
不要玩火自焚 Don't play yourself.
恭喜你啊 你把自己玩完了 Congratulations. You played yourself.
我认输 You guys win.
我懂你们意思了,我会离开 I get the message. I'll go away.
"全真康纳"大概就到这了 This is Conner4Real signing off.
(三个礼拜之后)
我后来回到沙加缅度 So, I am back in Sac,
算帮我妈看家 house-sitting for my mom,
- 她跟"打倒男孩" - 糟了 - 'cause she's on tour. - Oh, shit.
- 还在巡回演出的行程 - 你们有在拍我吗? - With Fallout Boy. - You guys filming me?
- 我觉得现在这样很棒 - 噢 - It's been awesome, you know? - Oh.
谁尿在我身上啦 Dude, which one of y'all pissed on me?
返乡的感觉很好 Feels really good to reconnect with my hometown.
我现在生活变得很简单 I've just been really living a very simple life.
也很单纯 Kind of... back to basics.
现在有空会看一些骑术的比赛 I've been watching a lot of dressage,
以马术来说我觉得是一种 which is a very elevated, uh, competitive form
高层次的竞技项目 of horse dancing.
我也花很多时间画画 I've been doing a lot of painting
素描 and a lot of sketching.
我画了一系列的小马 Um, I'm doing a series on show ponies.
我觉得最难描绘的是马蹄的部分 I actually have a lot of trouble with the hooves.
马蹄的结构很不好掌握 It's hard to get, like, a hoove texture.
我觉得这张就有到位 This one is, like, pretty accurate, actually.
我等等给你们看我描绘的那只马 不管怎样 I'll show you guys the horse that I based it on. Anyway...
这不是我画得最好的作品 It's not my best one.
如果这幅可以调整的话 我可能不会用 Um, like, in retrospect, I probably wouldn't have used
- 那种绿 - 我在网路上 - that shade of green. - I've even been selling
有卖出几幅了 some of them online,
对我来说是很酷的全新体验 which has been a cool, new experience.
喔!卖出去了 Ooh! Sold.
- 11.5美金 - 当然卖价可能 - 11.50. - You know, it's not.
与"全真康纳"的身价有落差啦 Conner4Real numbers, you know?
但我觉得那对我有不同的意义 But in a way it means more.
其实我觉得很满足了 That's pretty much it, you know?
这是我现在过的日子 That's my life now.
哈罗 Hello.
嘿,你好啊 Hey! What's up, dude?
大伙,宝拉来了 You guys, Paula's here!
最近怎样? What's going on?
就想过来看看你啊 Just wanted to check up on you.
你要喝一杯吗? You want a drink?
呃,不要,才11点 现在是早上11点耶 Uh, no. It's 11:00. It's 11:00 in the morning.
有些地方现在是11点半啊 It's 11:30 somewhere.
要得分罗! Go! Touchdown...
我们可以关掉吗? Can we please turn this off?
你看这些小家伙! Look at those little nerds!
以前我们就是这么酷 We were very cool for our school district.
我生日好棒喔 My birthday is awesome.
我们以前不错的 Yeah, man, we used to have fun.
怎么回事啊? What the fuck happened?
来罗 Okay.
喔,这个 Oh, shit.
我想我妈那天给我麦希穆斯 I think this is the day that my mom gave me Maximus.
喔 Oh.
这个礼物是... 欧文跟劳伦斯送的! This one is from... Owen and Lawrence!
乌龟耶!一只乌龟! A turtle! A turtle!
- 我的天啊! - 妈你看,他们送我一只乌龟! - Oh, my goodness! - Look, Mom! They got me a turtle!
宝贝那你要说什么? What do you say, sweetie?
谢谢你们! Thank you!
不客气 You're welcome.
宝贝 你要取什么名字? Honey, what are you gonna name it?
我要叫他麦希穆斯 I'm gonna name it Maximus.
起来,我们出去走走吧 Get up. We're going out.
啥? 不要,我不要出去 What? Oh, no, I'm not going out.
我不想面对社会大众 I cannot deal with the public right now.
康纳,我没有问你想不想出去 Conner, it's not a question.
好吧 All right, fine.
如果真的要出去 But if we're going out...
我要乔装一下 I got to put on my makeup.
拜托不要 Please don't put that on.
很酷喔 This is cool.
出来的感觉还不错 Feels good to be out.
- 我应该听你的 - 很棒啊 - You were right. Yeah. - Good.
幸好我有乔装了 I'm glad I did this though.
这样我感觉比较自在 You know, it makes me feel more comfortable, more at ease.
舒服很多 I feel at ease.
- 对啊,你看起来很自在 - 没错吧 - Yeah, you look really comfortable. - Yeah.
你看起来像过敏的马修莫汀 You look like Matthew Modine had a peanut allergy.
好吧 All right.
其实你看起来有点像纳粹份子 You look like Nazi propaganda.
你有点超过了 Okay, that's foul.
这音乐不错喔
那个是欧文吗?
我想是欧文在台上表演耶
等一下 Wait a minute.
宝拉,你早就知道是欧文?
你又设计我了
钢琴的部分很棒耶! That piano part is incredible!
在尘世间, 随风而舞的鸟群 Earth, wind and birds
- 噢,有点走音 围绕在我的游乐园 They sit around my park
伴随着 Up with
黑暗的冰冷 Darkness so cold.
我上一张专辑真的那么糟糕吗? Was my last album bad?
我觉得我最近几个月 I feel like I probably could've handled myself a little better
的表现真的有点失控了 over the past few months.
把这些想法讲出来的感觉真好 It feels so nice to be able to say all this shit,
反正音乐那么大声也没人听得到! 'cause the music is so loud no one can hear me!
那首同性恋的歌太烂啦! That equal rights song was offensive!
讲出来太舒服啦! I feel free!
感谢你们来支持我 Thanks for coming out, you guys.
- 很窝心 - 康特小子,刚的演出很棒喔! - Means a lot. - Great show, Kid Contact!
康纳? Conner?
噢,老兄你怎么看得出来? Aw, man! How'd you recognize me?
怎么了?你怎么会出现在这? What's up, man? What are you doing here?
总是要乔装一下的嘛 Had to put on the disguise, right?
我知道啊 Yeah, no, I see that.
我来看看我好朋友的演出啊 Come check out my homie do his thing, man.
表演得很棒耶! Great show!
- 谢啦 - 没什么 - Thanks, man. - Yeah, yeah.
喔,是宝拉带你来的吧? Oh. Paula brought you?
对啦 She did.
幸好她有带我来啦 And I'm really glad she did.
这表演很棒啊 你唱得很好耶 It was such a great show. You sounded incredible, dude.
- 谢了 - 不会啦 - Thanks, man. - Yeah. Yeah.
我唱得很烂啦 但你也知道 I mean, my singing's terrible, but, you know.
喔,不不不 What? No! No...!
好啦,可能只要上几堂 But, I mean, all right, look, may be time
发声练习的课就好了 那又没什么 for some vocal lessons, you know? No shame in that.
或者让比较会唱的唱啊 Yeah, or you know who would sound better on it.
克莱艾肯 Clay Aiken.
才不是,我是说你 No. You.
不是啦 No. No, man.
这是你的表演啊 看你现在这样我很开心 This is your thing, and I'm hella proud of you, man.
而且 And...
唉,其实我是想... fuck, man, I just...
- 我觉得我真的很抱歉 - 康纳,我觉得... - I want to just say I'm sorry. - Conner, just, I...
其实我很开心听到你这样说 like, I love that you're doing this right now,
但是你现在看起来很像杰森席格尔 but it's really hard to take you seriously,
我实在很难感动 because you just look like Jason Segel right now.
- 噢,宝拉刚也这样说 - 我们想的一样啊 - Oh, Paula said that. - Well, we have great minds.
- 这很有趣 - 这样一定... - Yeah, that's funny. - Yeah, it must, like...
- 那现在呢? - 喔,这样的话 - How is it, like...? - Oh, yeah, it's, like,
- 根本就一模一样了 - 这样更像吗? - the spitting image of, like... - Is that good? Like...
根本就是双胞胎 Yeah, it looks identical to that dude.
"忘掉负心女" Sarah Marshall.
我得忘记她 I need to forget about her.
- 对,他应该忘记的 - 没错 - Yeah, he needs to forget her. - Yeah. Yeah.
- 很喜欢那部 - 对 - Love that movie. - Yeah.
谢了 Thanks, man.
你来看我表演,对我来说意义非凡 It means a lot that you came out.
我也这么觉得 I'm glad I came, too. For real.
这真的很棒 That's good, man.
好了 Nice.
搞啥啊? What the fuck?
谁放的? One of you guys put this here?
嘿,劳伦斯 Hey, Lawrence.
康纳 Conner.
欧文 Owen.
劳伦斯 Lawrence.
康纳 Conner.
就... Just...
老兄那个就给你吧 That's for you, man.
算借你好了 To borrow, you know?
我想... Figured...
你可以拿着他请人拍几张照片 you could take a bunch of pics of you holding it and stuff,
要贴上网也可以啦 you could post them or whatever.
这样的话... All right? So...
我们合好罗 now we're cool.
劳伦斯! Lawrence!
你搞什么啊? What the fuck, man?
现在我还要花时间去找! Now I got to go find that!
你要我说什么嘛? What do you want me to say?
你要我承认你写了那些脍炙人口的歌词? That you helped with the catchphrase verse?
你还在纠结这个? Is that what this is still about?
好啦,你帮我写了那些歌词,这样可以吗? Fine. You helped with the catchphrase verse. All right?
高兴了吗? You happy?
好啦,大部分都你写的啦 All right, and you wrote most of it.
还不是我想的 But using my catchphrases.
你只是帮忙写而已 That you also cowrote.
好啦,都你写的 All right, wrote.
我们一起想出来的 But we were both in the room,
但大部分都是我贡献的啦 and I dictated all the best stuff.
对啦,大部分都是你写的啦 All right, none of the best stuff, dude,
但是我也有很多想法不错的啊 but I had tons of great ideas
而且我也真的不懂为什么你都不喜欢 that I still don't even know why you didn't use them.
因为他们烂透了! Because they sucked!
好,是我的错 Okay, fine. That's my bad.
但是我从头到尾跟你一起创作啊 But I was there the whole time, man.
可能有点迟到啦,那天有点晚去 I was a little late. I was a little late that day.
那天塞车,我就有点晚到 There was traffic, and I was a little tardy
就刚好那一天嘛 on that particular day.
不对,那天没塞车,我乱说的 There was no traffic. I lied about that.
那天我不小心睡过头了 I lied about it because I overslept on accident.
不对,我故意的 It was on purpose. It was a power move.
我是想下马威 I was trying to send a message, and that was
是我不对,好吗? a dick move on my part, all right?
但就算我晚到了 However, once I got there... late...
我也是有花时间的好吗? I put in time, okay?
我记得我有一点早走啦 I left a little early, I remember that.
不对,我想起来了 我根本没去 I was never there. Now I remember.
我想起来了! I remember now what happened!
我临阵脱逃,是你写了全部的词 I bailed, and you wrote the whole verse.
你写了歌词,是我亏欠你 You wrote it, and I never gave you credit.
为什么我要这样? 'Cause guess why.
因为根本没人在乎是谁写的 No one cares who writes shit.
他们只在乎是谁唱的 They just care who performs it.
事实上,我觉得全世界最在乎 In fact, I think the only person in the whole universe
谁写出那些歌词的人就是你了啦! who cares about the credit for who wrote it is you!
妈的 Fuck.
对不起 I'm sorry.
蹦 Boom.
"天生一对"奏效了 Parent Trap.
你说你现在在种什么啊? What'd you say you grew here again?
你看啊 You'll see.
天啊! Oh, shit!
劳伦斯,你种多少大麻啊? Lawrence, how much weed do you have?
嘿,大伙,我要招待我朋友 Hey, everyone, I'm gonna take the rest of the day off
我今天就先休息了 to hang out with my friends.
大家继续加油 Keep up the good work, and...
- 希望今年大丰收 - 没问题! - let's have a great harvest. - Okay!
- 你们还有在抽吗? - 有啊 - You guys still smoke? - Yeah.
- 来罗 - 来 - Cheers, dude. - Cheers.
大奶女巫,水屁, Witch's Titty, Aqua Butt,
贝多芬的梦魇, 产后的忧郁, Beethoven's Nightmare, Postpartum Depression,
青蛙的精液, 紫德班大麻... Frog Jizz, Purple Durban...
- 真的在上面耶 - 劳伦斯你丢得真远 - It's really up there, man. - Good shot there, Lawrence.
来罗,一二三 All right, one, two, three.
- 噢 - 勾到了吗? - 勾到了 - Oh. - Got it? - Get it.
- 啊哈! - 好耶! - Ah! Ha-ha! - Yeah! Yeah!
好耶 Yeah.
绝对没人这样做 No way this works.
- 来一轮啦 - 来啦 - Get it. - No. No!
- 耶 - 你用奖座呼麻喔! - Yeah. - You smoked the Poppy, dude!
有一次我们想到一个旋律 What was that beat that we were messing with once
是不是... that was, like...
Bwah, bwah, bwah, bwah Bwah, bwah, bwah, bwah
Bwah, bwah. Bwah, bwah.
- 没错! - 那啥啊? - Yeah! - What was that?
Bwah, bwah, bwah, bwah Bwah, bwah, bwah, bwah
Bwah, bwah, bwah, bwah, bwah, bwah. Bwah, bwah, bwah, bwah, bwah, bwah.
我们应该用这段来创作 We should mess with that.
哇! Oh!
- 就是这样啊 - 没错,刚说的旋律是? - That was it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. How'd it go though?
刚说的是啥?刚怎么唱的? What were the words though? What were the words?
- 好像是... - Dah, dah, dah, buh, buh - It was, uh... - Dah, dah, dah, buh, buh
你就是我的真命 You are my number one pick...
- 就是这样! - 耶! - That was it! - Yeah! Yeah!
但每次找你 But every time I call you
你都说你生病 You say that you're sick...
- 她每次都说她生病 - 劳伦斯最哈他了 - She was always sick. - Lawrence hooked up with her!
- 不要这样啦 - 对啊,你最爱了啦! - Aw, come on. - That's right! You hooked up with her!
不要讲废话啦 Don't do me like that.
开玩笑的啦 Come on, yo.
葛兰达,你是在装病 Glenda, are you dying
还是在回避? Or just avoiding me?
就是这样 That was it.
不管是我没好运 Either way's a bummer
我反而希望你有病 But I hope you're dying...
- 真的很有事耶,写这啥啦 - 耶 - That was messed up. He wrote that. - Yeah.
一起创作的时候真的很有趣 Pretty fun in there, man.
我都忘记这种感觉了 I forgot how fun it is.
我突然间觉得 Kind of makes me think
当农夫好白痴喔 that I fucking hate farming.
我看着康纳,让我想起 I look at Conner, and I see that
那个七岁大的小男孩 以前一起打闹的日子 seven-year-old scrub that I grew up with, and...
你怎么会对一个七岁小孩子发脾气? it's like, how could you be mad at a seven-year-old?
我之前还花很多时间气到想杀他,我真的是疯了 It's crazy I spent so much time thinking about killing him.
你们有看到吗? You guys see that?
没中喔! You missed me!
啊,干! Oh, fuck!
康纳这几天很不一样 Conner's full of surprises these days, man.
从机场来这的路上 I mean, on our way from the airport,
我观察到 I actually noticed something crazy.
我发现他的包包有一本书 I looked down, and in his bag he had this book
书名是:"怎样做一个更好的朋友?" called How to Be a Better Friend.
我看书上到处都是摺痕和注记 It was all dog-eared and scribbled on.
感觉他是真的要改变 It feels like he's really trying.
而且我不知道他会看书 And plus, it shows he knows how to read,
这真的吓了我一跳 which is really heartening.
没想到我们竟然记得 I can't believe we remembered that, man.
宝拉打来了 Paula's calling you.
我记得还有一大段耶 Yo, there was a whole second verse
- 你记得吗? - 旋律是怎样? - in that, too, remember that? - Yeah, what was it, dude?
- 我得接一下电话 - 好啊 - I'm gonna grab it, I'm gonna grab it. - Okay.
- 你有印象吗? - 有啊 - You remember that? - Yeah.
嗨 Yo.
你到底去哪了啊? Where the hell have you been?
我跟我朋友一起啊 Um, hanging with the guys.
他们真的很有趣耶 It's actually been super fun, man.
康纳,今年流行音乐奖要邀请你 Conner, you just got offered the Poppy Awards.
等一下,你说什么? Wait, what?
流行音乐奖! The Poppy Awards!
泰勒丝涉嫌谋杀被逮捕了 Taylor Swift was arrested for murder.
他们希望你来做闭幕表演 They want you to close the show.
这是众所瞩目的焦点 It is a huge spot.
有六分钟的表演时间 Six minutes to do whatever you want.
但他们现在就要你的答覆 But they need an answer now.
啊,这时候 Oh, shit. Um...
康纳,我们就在等这个机会了! This is what we've been waiting for, Conner!
她不曾穿袜... She never wore socks...
但这是第三段吧 But that was the third verse though.
- 我们刚是在讲第二段 - 好吧 - I'm talking about the second verse. - Okay.
- 没错没错 - 第二段是怎样啊? - Yeah. Yeah. - Like, what was the second verse?
她爸看我不爽 Her daddy hates me
因为我的车 'Cause my car
- 超亮 - 对! - 就是这样 - Is slick. - Yes! - Okay.
- 好耶 - 我们来录这段 - 当然啊 - Yeah, yeah. - Let's record it. - Oh, hell yeah.
- 我把这段记一下 - 宝拉打来干嘛? - Let me get on the boards. - What did Paula want, man?
没什么,他们想要我在流行音乐奖上表演 Oh, nothing. They wanted me to do the Pop Awards,
但我拒绝他们了 but I passed on it.
- 你说什么啊? - 我不想要表演 - Yo, what? - Dude, I don't want
我想要跟你们一起玩音乐 to do that shit. I'm hanging with you guys.
谁在乎啊 那是流行音乐奖耶! Who fucking cares, dude? That's the Poppies.
是没错啦,但我想想 All right, but I thought this was, like,
这就是为什么你们不爽我啊 the whole reason you guys were mad at me,
单飞以来就一直是这样了 for going and doing all this solo shit.
老大,你不用选边站好吗? Dude, you don't have to choose between us and your solo shit.
就好像武当帮啊 It's like with Wu-Tang Clan. It's like,
你就像方法人 你可以录自己的专辑 you're Method Man, and he made a solo record,
但他还是武当帮的一员啊 but he's still in the Wu-Tang Clan.
这不冲突啊 He never stopped being in the Wu-Tang Clan.
- 我懂你意思 - 就好像GZA - Right. - Or, like, the GZA.
他也是武当帮的,但他也有个人专辑 He was in the Wu-Tang Clan, and then he made a solo record.
他还是武当帮的一员 He never stopped being in the Wu-Tang Clan.
不然像RZA也是啊 Yeah. Or you're the RZA,
你还是可以有个人创作 and you could do your solo shit,
但你还是武当帮的啊 but you're still in the Wu-Tang Clan.
也就是说 So basically...
我们就像武当帮 we're the Wu-Tang Clan.
差不多那个意思,但我们应该好一点 Exactly. But better.
好吧 Yeah. Well...
我们也有可能比较差啦 As soon as I said it, I was kind of like, uh, maybe not.
就好像我们是三人版的汤姆佩迪 It's like we're three Tom Pettys
我们同时也是伤心人乐团 and we're the Heartbreakers, you know?
你是汤姆佩迪 You're a Tom Petty,
你也是汤姆佩迪 我也是汤姆佩迪 you're Tom Petty, and I'm Tom Petty,
当我们在一起的时候 but together...
- 我们就是汤姆佩迪 - 我们就是伤心人乐团 - We're Tom Petty. - We're the Heartbreakers.
- 喔,我讲错 - 我们就是伤心人乐团 - Oh, right, no. - We're the Heartbreakers.
- 我也搞混了 - 对啊 - Yeah, I lost it, too. - Yeah.
你要知道什么时候展翅高飞 We know you got to fly.
你就是一只鸟 You're like a beautiful bird... you got to be
如果你想要看得更远就去吧 out there, you got to see it all,
但我们还是可以跟你一起 but we can be right there with you,
创作音乐的 as your little bird legs.
你觉得我应该参加流行音乐奖? So you think I should... do the Pop Awards?
- 废话! - 去啊 - Fuck yes! - Yeah.
好啊,那我不要自己去 All right, well, I'm not going alone.
你要跟谁去? Who are you gonna do it with?
- 跟你们啊! - 喔 - With you guys! - Oh.
- 你们要跟我一起吗? - 喔,好啊 - 当然,当然 - Do you want to come with me? - Oh, shit. - Yeah, yeah.
- 这很正点 - 我还以为你要找谁哩... - That's tight. - I was wondering who you were gonna...
- 没问题啊 - 好棒喔 - 太棒了 - All right. - We're so high! - That's tight.
(流行音乐奖) And the stars are arriving
巨星们陆续抵达
今年的流行音乐奖会场 for this year's Pop Music Awards, the Poppies.
好吧,我们走吧 今天会先 Good. Let's go. You guys are all set.
唱一首"潮男"的歌 They know you're doing one Style Boyz song,
之后我们会再带到康纳的新单曲 and then we're gonna go into Conner's, uh, new single.
太好啦... Great.
喔天啊! Oh, shit!
康纳老兄最近好吗? Conner, what up though, dawg?
- 猎手你好啊 - 嘿 - Oh. Yeah, what up, Hunter? - Yo, yo, yo, yo.
跟我的摄影师打个招呼吧 Say hey to my doc real quick, baby.
- 嗨 - 就是这样! - Hi. - Yeah!
你有摄影师,我也有喔 Hey, you got a doc, I got a doc.
你听懂我意思吗? 可是现在啊 You know what I'm saying? But now...
我现在跟Aquaspin签约了 还有这些小跟班 like, I'm rolling with all these dudes and with Aquaspin.
好像电影"双面女郎"那种感觉 Like, I kind of Single White Female'd your ass.
- 对啊,真疯狂 - 不管怎么说啦 - Yeah, man, that's crazy. - Anyway, though, my man.
很高兴看到你,你今天穿得很帅喔 Good to see you, man. You looking spiffy, you know?
老兄,我是猎手,今天来到 Yo, yo, this Hunter, dawg. I'm 'bout to get crazy
- 这舞台真的超爽的 - 抱歉我们不是在拍你 - on this stage, baby. - Oh, no, sorry, not your camera.
- 啥? - 我们要拍康纳 - Huh? - We're with Conner.
抱歉,我搞错了 我是猎手 Oh, shit. My bad. Yo, this Hunter
我要去流行音乐奖了 你们了吗? about to head into the Poppies, you know what I'm saying?
抱歉,我们在拍史努比狗狗 No, sorry. We're with Snoop.
你他妈没想到吧! Surprise, mothafucka!
你在收看我的新节目: You're watching my brand-new show:
"你他妈没想到吧" Surprise Mothafucka
史努比狗狗主持 with Snoop Dogg.
你一定想不到吧 And, mothafucka, you've been surprised.
不好意思借过 Excuse me.
- 借过喔 - 嘿,好啦 - Excuse me, baby. - Hey, hey, okay, hey.
可以来个人 Can somebody move out the...
嘿,玛丽亚凯莉 Hey, Mariah Carey.
你的头发好香喔 Your hair smells and looks great.
你知道Aquaspin也有卖吹风机跟卷发器吗? Did you know Aquaspin has hair dryers and flatirons?
我不知道 No, I didn't.
Aquaspin的家电用品给大学生 Aquaspin appliances are completely affordable
都很好用喔 for college students.
小弟,请你不要现在打广告 Honey, you're not doing ads now.
- 什么?你是认真的吗? - 请你照着提词机念 - Really? What? - Read the damn prompter.
你现在是在跟我的钞票过不去喔 Yo, you're messing with my money right now.
- 你刚才 [消音] 跟我说什么? - 什么? - What the [bleep] did you just say to me? - What?
哟, [消音] 你们这些人, 好吗? Yo, [bleep] all y'all, all right?
顺便 [消音]其他人啦 And [bleep] everybody else.
也[消音] 玛丽亚凯莉 直接走人耶 And [bleep] Mariah Carey for leaving me up here.
- 没错,我就是在讲她 - 你再讲一次啊 - Yeah, I said her. - Okay, say it again.
不,你还在啊? 我以为你走了 No, oh, you still here? I thought you had left.
"潮男"准备好了吗? Style Boyz?
可以上台罗 It's time.
刚是搞什么鬼啊,哈利? Yo, what the fuck was that, Harry?
你为什么要我在台上讲那些啊?? Why you got me up there saying that bullshit, man?
我叫你不要讲好吗? I told you not to say it. You're the one
是你想钱想疯了! who wanted to cash the check.
你根本陷害我吧! Yo, you set me up, dude!
你什么都不是! 虚伪,过气,爱钱如命的... You ain't nothing but, like, a fake, sellout, money-hungry
废物经纪人! pop, bullshit-ass manager!
你就是一个汤尼!汤泥!汤倪!的退货啦!烂东西! You ain't nothing but a Tony! Toni! Toné! reject, bitch!
你他妈刚说什么? What the fuck you say to me?!
好胆再讲一次啊!小兔崽子! Say that shit again, young blood!
小心我把你给吞了! I will eat your head!
生吞活剥! I will eat your fucking head!
你最好尊重点喔! You better learn some respect!
好啊 Yo, all right. Hey, man.
抱歉,请你冷静 I'm sorry, yo. Chill.
他妈过气的老屁股 Old-ass motherfucker.
- 喔! - 靠杯 - Oh! - Shit.
老兄你干嘛打人啊! Why you hit me like that, dawg?
你另请高明吧! Get yourself a new manager!
你认真? Yo, are you serious?
搞什么啊? What the hell, man?
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
哈利做得好! That was great, Harry!
- 是不是有点疯狂? - 对啊 - 对啊 - It was insane, wasn't it? - Yeah. - Yeah.
我本来只是想说 "你尊重点喔" I was like, "Hey, get some respect."
你懂的 You know.
哇 Wow.
哈利,我想跟你道歉 Hey, look, Harry, I just want to say I'm sorry...
不用,没事啦 No, don't. Don't worry about it.
你们赶快上去好好表演吧 Just... get out there and have a good time.
祝你们表演成功 Good luck, guys.
哈利,谢谢你 Thanks, Harry.
好 Yeah.
Hammerleg 请到舞台左侧 Hammerleg to stage left.
- Hammerleg 请到舞台左侧 - ...昨夜的魅影... - Hammerleg to stage left. - ...ghost last night...
好,真的要来了 Okay, this is it.
- 你会紧张吗?? - 会啊 - You nervous? - For sure.
有一点 Little bit.
不要紧张,我们没问题的 Don't be. We got this.
- 好,等等见 - 等等会合 - All right. See you out there. - See you out there.
"全真康纳", 倒数45秒 Conner4Real, 45 seconds.
- 请大家就座 - 老天,康纳 - Please take your seats. - Oh, God, Conner.
我终于找到你了 你们表演要开始了 There you are. Look, the show's going way over,
你现在只有三分钟了 so you only have three minutes now.
- 什么? - 对,你们现在只能表演一首歌 - What? - Yeah, you can only do one song,
我想问,你们要保留"全真康纳"的部分 so I need to know, are you gonna do Conner4Real
- 还是"潮男"的部分? - 呃... - or Style Boyz? - Uh...
等一下,我在问他 Yeah, no, I asked him.
他看起来有点放空 He's just kind of, like, looking off into space
真的很难决定 and, like, really making a meal out of this.
我还在等他答覆 And now I'm just standing here waiting.
他看向别处仿佛在想 He's looking off to, like, contemplate
到底该怎么做 whether he should, I think,
他似乎想要选"潮男" pick the Style Boyz, 'cause he's, like,
他望向他的同伴 looking in their direction.
我猜他倾向... So he might be leaning toward that kind of choi...
等一下,他又回头了 No, he's looking back.
我不确定他要选什么 So I-I'm lost. I'm not sure which one he's gonna go for.
好,我决定好了 All right. I know what I'm gonna do.
今晚的最后一位嘉宾是一位活生生的传奇 Our final performer tonight is a living legend
巨星风采依旧 and still a superstar.
女士们先生们, 我们欢迎独一无二的 Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only.
"全真康纳"! Conner4Real!
我这辈子看过最正的马子 Finest girl I ever met in my whole life
想快点带她回家做我妻子 Wanna take her home, make her my wife
但闲聊间发现她是个疯婆子 Knew she was a freak when she started talking
她说... She said
我一生都是 I'm a Style Boy
"潮男" For life...
- 要讲出来吗? - 可以啊 - 跟他讲啦 - Should we tell 'em? - Yeah. - Tell 'em, man.
我们在农场做了一首新歌 We made a new song at the farm.
我们用劳伦斯的笔记 Yeah, we found Lawrence's journals,
他有一堆很屌的想法 and they were just amazing.
真的很屌 Amazing.
都是一些惊人的想法 Just full of incredible thoughts.
就是随手写一些点子和诗句啦 没什么 Just, like, ideas and poems and stuff, nothing special.
然后康纳建议我把我的钢琴独奏 Yo, and then Conner had the idea to take a piano line
- 加到里面 - 是康纳把他整个组合起来的 - from my solo shit... - Conner put it all together.
然后主办单位跟其他嘉宾做了配合 And the Poppies paired us with the craziest special guest
让我们一起演出 to perform with.
惊人的想法 Incredible thoughts
惊人的主张 Incredible mind
我无法抵挡 I'm so overwhelmed
我怎么那么会想? How did my brain conceive them?
Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah
- 雪白的鸽子飞舞在漆黑的夜 - Yeah - A snow-white dove in the pitch-black night - Yeah
- 雨滴从万丈高空落到地面 - Oh - A raindrop falls from tremendous heights - Oh
巨浪肆虐苏格兰海边 A wave crashes off of a cliff in Scotland
小孩咬了苹果,发现坏在里面 A child bites an apple but the core is rotten
电视很方便,但你付出多少时间? TV is free, but what is the cost?
有GPS在手边, 还是找不到想要的地点 We have GPS, and yet we're still lost
- Oh - 萝卜长在沙漠 - Oh - A carrot in the desert
花园里有骆驼 A camel in the garden
大耳的巨人低声向你请求 A man with giant ears begging your pardon
收垃圾的人能否比你博学? What if a garbageman was actually smart?
常见的误解会不会把族群撕裂 A common misconception that we're tearing apart
对狗而言,狗食就是食物 And to a dog, dog food is just food
对袜子而言,庄园再大也只是一双鞋 And to a sock, a mansion's just a big shoe
巧克力甜点融在酸雨里面 A Milk Dud sitting in the acid rain
家里养的猫背着你吸古柯碱 A house cat addicted to the cocaine
没有牙齿再也不用牙线 No teeth, unlimited floss
这些惊人的想法我只说了一点点 These are just a few of our incredible thoughts
- 惊人的想法... - 老兄,能够看到 - Incredible thoughts... - Oh, man, watching
"潮男"在舞台上再次合体 the Style Boyz together on stage again was like...
这好像是我诞生的意义 I lived to see that.
看完之后,我就可以去死了啦 After that, you know, take me away, I'm done.
康特小子,布莱恩小子 Kid Contact, Kid Brain
和康纳小子齐聚一堂 and Kid Conner all back together...
像这样屌的"潮男" the motherfucking Style Boyz.
这简直就是超越世代伟大团体 This is just some revolutionary shit, man.
我的心还在砰砰跳耶 My heart is pounding right now.
Oh, oh Oh, oh
芭蕾舞者在公车站祈求 A ballerina waits for the bus
模范父亲的奖杯却布满铁锈 A "Number One Dad" trophy covered in rust
修女飞身灌篮你看过没有 A nun dunks a basketball, living the impossible
有人摔断了腿刚好在医院里头 A man breaks his leg inside a hospital
正要开始追求, 改变世界的念头 We just thought of that, and it could change the world
我们像是珍珠牡蛎让人想要拥有 We're like a smart oyster full of pearls
就像新生儿的超音波 Such as an ultrasound of a new baby
却看见戴着圣诞帽说哈罗 With a Santa hat drawn on, yeah
这种圣诞卡风格为我特有 That's my kind of Christmas card
有没有可能蝴蝶是奶油所做 What if a butterfly was made out of butter?
这些想法能否逼"老大哥"哀求 These small thoughts could destroy Big Brother
全世界最可爱的猫刚去抱狗 The world's cutest kitten just hugging a dog
惊人的想法到现在我只说了一些些 Just one of many of our incredible thoughts
一个想法能否治愈全人类? What if one thought could cure the people?
一首歌能否把邪恶都消灭? What if one song could end all evil?
一只鱼能否做音乐表演? Imagine if a fish could play guitar
大声宣泄 And also sing
听起来很奇怪,看起来就变 It would sound bizarre, like
我是鱼先生想表演 My name is Mr. Fish
- Yeah! - 这些好心人刚刚完成 - Yeah! - These guys' thoughts
我的心愿, oh, yeah... Have granted my wish, oh, yeah...
我想知道谁躲在那个鱼里面啊? All I want to know, who was in that fish costume?
他唱得很好耶 That was amazing.
我就是鱼先生! The fish was me!
泰瑞斯! Tyrus!
- Ooh... - Shh. - Ooh... - Shh.
Ooh... Ooh...
也许那将会 And that may have just
- 改变时间 - Ooh, ooh - Changed the course of time - Ooh, ooh
我发誓我要用我的想法, 激荡出更多见解 I swear, my mind blows my mind
惊人 Incredible
让我看看你的驴风舞 Let me see that Donkey Roll
驴风舞 Donkey Roll
让我看看你的驴风舞 Let me see that Donkey Roll
惊人的想法 Incredible thoughts
驴风舞 Donkey Roll
惊人的想法 Incredible thoughts
让我看看你的 Let me see that
驴风舞! Donkey Roll!
Ah... Ah...
惊人的想法, 惊人的主张 Incredible thoughts, incredible mind
- 太多美妙想法 - Ooh... - Too many great ideas inside - Ooh...
这样的奇蹟,只有我的大脑才能装 It's a miracle my head can contain them
我叹为观止的脑容量 And my spectacular brain...
哈利! Harry!
时间空间都无法拿我怎样 How I think about space and time
- 是时候与世人分享 - Oh! - Now it's time to share them with the people - Oh!
我的天才无人能挡... My brain is a genius...
当我看到的时候,我只能... When it was happening, I was just like,
我不敢相信 yo, I cannot believe
我竟然有机会见证这一切 I'm here to witness this, man.
我怎么那么会想? How did my brain conceive them?
赞啦!赞啦!太爽了! Yes! Yes! Fuck!
好耶! Yes!
我刚刚跟 I just performed
"潮男" 一起跳"驴风舞" the "Donkey Roll" with the Style Boyz.
现在我也是"潮男"了 I was a Style Boy.
当我踏上舞台的时候 When I walked out onstage,
我只觉得 all I could think of was,
我很开心 I'm so happy.
我希望 汤尼!汤泥!汤倪!他们也有看到 And I really hope that Tony! Toni! Toné! is watching.
希望他们很后悔 And that they feel like shit.
曾经有一个睿智的人跟我说过 A wise man once said,
每个人的生涯都像海浪 "Everyone's career is on a wave.
有时起有时落 "Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down.
最好的做法就是不要迷失你自己 "But the trick is not to lose yourself along the way.
当你得意的时候不要让自己像个混蛋一样 And when you're up, don't be an asshole about it."
我妈总是告诉我 It's like my mom always says...
搞什么? Yo, what the fuck?
舞台经理怎么搞上劳伦斯了啊? That stage manager lady just macked on Lawrence super hard.
他们认识吗? Yo, do they even know each other?
我的天啊? Oh, my God!
迪博拉怎么也在这? And why is De-bor-ah here?
不管怎么说,善待你的朋友 Anyways, be cool to your friends, right?
就跟我说的一样 That's what I was saying?
劳伦斯今晚有局了 Yo, they are gonna fuck!
这太扯了 Damn that is hilarious.
不过重点还是要心存善念啦 But the point is, be a good person,
事情自然会有最好的安排 and the rest will fall into place.
这就是"全真康纳"的良心建议 And that's Conner4Real.
我有说错吗,麦希穆斯二世? Isn't that right, Maximus 2?
当然啊,康纳 It sure is, Conner.
你说什么? What?
他没有说话啦 我刚在配音 He wasn't really talking. That was me doing the voice.
- 让女孩为你如痴如醉 - 我们就爱这味 - When the girls blow us kisses - Me likey that
- 老妈在家打扫不再抱怨 - 我们就爱这味 - And when your mama does our dishes - Me likey that
- 当精灵实现你心愿 - 让女孩为你如痴如醉 - When a genie grants wishes - About girls blowing kisses
- 老妈在家打扫不再抱怨 - 我们就爱这味 - And your mama doing dishes - Me likey that
参加派对我们不穿鞋也不穿袜 Well, we step up in the party, no shoes or socks
- 下半身脱个精光 - 上半身同时解放 - No pants on the bottom - No shirts on the top
- 全裸上场 - 光溜溜的在自助吧 - Nude - Butt naked at the buffet bar
把鸡柳条全部吃光 Eatin' up your chicken fingers
横扫全部的蔬菜沙拉, 康纳小子登场 And the crude terre, yo, Kid Conner
康特小子你刚说怎样? Yeah, yeah, what up, Kid Contact?
等等叫布莱恩小子帮个忙 Why don't you grab Kid Brain and meet me in the back?
你们这些王八,又要找我呼麻? How's it goin', motherfuckers, wanna smoke this sack?
- 我们立场都一样 - 我们就爱这味 - We collectively reply - Me likey that
- 当我击出全垒打风靡全场 - 我们就爱这味 - When I hit a homerun - Me likey that
- 我最吃汉堡肉请你帮帮忙 - 我们就爱这味 - I got a burger in a bun - Me likey that
像战神阿提拉,兰姆酒一次喝一缸 When Attila the Hun drinks a gallon of rum
- 黄汤下肚无人能挡 - 我们就爱这味 - In his tummy-tum-tum - Me likey that.
"潮男"又合体了 The Style Boyz are getting back together again!
对啊,他们解散好久了 Yeah, they broke up,
他们尽释前嫌,我猜 then they buried the hatchet, and now I guess
他们又能一起玩音乐了 they're working together again.
- 他们从小就认识了 - 对!一辈子的朋友 - They're, like, friends from childhood. - Yeah! - For life!
他们只是有些不愉快 And they had, like, tough times,
现在他们总算知道团聚的美好了 and now they feel good about being back together.
- 对 - 我觉得我们也要放下歧见 - Yeah. - We're gonna put aside our differences!
做点有意义的事情 And actually do something.
好几次我都想这样做了 Because sometimes I think about doing that.
- 耶 - 我三年没 - Yeah. - I haven't talked to my mom
跟我妈讲话了 in three years.
我搬来这里当初是想要当 I moved out here, I thought I could get, like,
广告经理人的 a commercial agent.
我以前以为我可以当滑板模特儿的 I just wanted to be a longboard model.
我高中都没毕业 I never graduated high school.
我中学也没毕业 I never graduated middle school.
如果我们几个 It'd be a lot of fun
在下班时间一起玩乐的话好像不错 if the four of us hung out outside of the office.
大家,我想问你们一个 Hey, guys, can I ask you something really...
我从没提过的事 that I've never really asked you before?
- 好啊 - 你们有詹姆斯法兰科 - Yeah. - Do you guys have a photograph
之前被拍到在丹尼餐厅的照片吗? of James Franco leaving a Denny's?
有啊,就在我这! Oh, yeah! Totally! It's right here!
- 我想看! - 放出来! - Let's see it! - Put it up!
放出来啦! Bring it up! We got it!
Ooh, yeah, ooh, yeah Ooh, yeah, ooh, yeah
我来告诉你事情的真相 Words and truth
有一天晚上我躺在沙滩上 One fine evening on the sandy coast
置身鼓圈的中间是我最向往 The feeling was irie round the drum circle
有一位拉斯塔法步入我的目光 When the wisest rasta I ever saw
他有礼貌的拜访 Gently joined us and sang of Jah
他的文化是与生俱来无法模仿 Roots and culture seeped from his bones
他拿出一只卷烟说, "你要不要尝尝?" He took out a spliff and said, "Pass dis around"
直接拿来吸了一口又怎样 So I took a righteous drag
这种爽感不是我在夸张 It was the best sensie that I ever had
我感觉我的背脊在发凉 And then I felt the chills run up my back
我的老天,刚那是怎样? My good man, tell me what was that?
他说:"我的朋友,这是你的古柯碱" He said, "My friend, you just smoked crack"
古柯碱, 古柯碱 Crack, crack
你刚吸的是古柯碱啊古柯碱 You just smoked crack, crack
Oh, 古柯碱, 古柯碱 Oh, crack, crack
你刚吸的是... You just smoked
我刚吸了古柯碱 I just smoked crack
唉呀,我的天! Oh, my God!
这感觉妙不可言! And it felt fucking great
这超级夸张! This is amazing!
我以为我刚呼麻 I thought it was marijuana
Oh, yeah Oh, yeah
但我来不及重选 But now it's too fucking late
我爱上这感觉 I can't go back
我爱古柯碱 I love crack
太爽啦! Holy shit!
现在我天下无敌啦 And now I am invincible
爽啦! Fuck yeah!
如果有谁想拿我的古柯碱 If anyone tries to take my crack
我只好送他到上帝面前 I'll kill them on principle
关于毒品有很多说法 Some call crack bazooka
- 不管怎样的叫法 - 叫法 - Others call it base - Base
不管怎样的叫法 But no matter what name you call it
这是人类最棒的发明啊 It's the best invention ever
- 全人类啊 - 类啊 - By the human race - Race
政府说的都不是真话 The government spread lies about it
他们说毒品不好玩啊 They say that it is no fun
但我刚刚亲自吸了啊 But on that glass dick shall I sucky
吸啊, 吸啊, 吸啊 全部吸光光 Sucky, sucky, sucky till the crack is gone
追求毒品合法化 Now we should legalize it
毒品合法化 Legalize it
人们应该享有自由啊 Set the people free
毒品合法化 And legalize
我们要推动毒品合法化 We should legalize crack
我决定先把它吸光光... So that I can smoke it all...